Feeling off

Haven’t been feeling myself lately everything is dull unless I’m dealing with anxiety can anyone relate?

Does anyone want to talk?

Hi

How are you? I am here, but unfortunately I am getting really tired of being online. I have been having some issues, and all I really want is to meet people, but I can't for various reasons that are not my fault. So, I have been on here chatting recently, I spend a lot of time online, but sometimes I feel it's worse. I feel myself going crazy. I wish I could have more in person friendships or a relationship. My car is in the shop and I haven't been able to drive, and I was traveling before this. I feel so helpless in a lot of ways and lazy. I don't want to walk and be outside all the time and have to walk to go to the store. Sorry. My family lives far away and I only email or maybe talk over the phone every now and then. My reality feels like on BIG FAT lie.

I was in a relationship with someone this past year on and off, and it seems like he has an issue with alcohol. However, he won't admit it. On top of that, he recently did something that really made me rethink what he says to me. I am so confused. I didn't think he was like this. I started believing him because he kept insisting about his feelings for me to the point that I couldn't ignore it. I almost fell for it, and again recently, he wouldn't stop calling me when I was sick from covid for two weeks. I told him I didn't have the energy and then all these other things when I got back. He started calling me selfish because I was talking about my own problems.

Well, recently he came around, drunk again and we were alone spending some time alone together again. Well, in the following two days, we were supposed to touch base or keep in touch. I thought maybe we could be friends or friendly. He went online and flirted with a woman he knows. Normally I would brush it off, but he crossed the line and jokingly asked her if she is single (loling). I did not like that because, we hadn't talked yet about him coming over drunk, and we were supposed to talk. Then, he invited me out, we were supposed to go out again or talk. He was calling me "babe" and said everyone knows he has a gf, then he denied it.

In reality, I cannot believe the games this man is playing with me at his age. Why? He is 50.

A few days ago he called my phone 4 times in 10 minutes, and made it seem like it was a pocket dial. I know it's a BIG FAT LIE and manipulation.

He told me in the past he did this on a few occasions when we were not talking, and also funny how this seems to happen right after we have an argument or maybe don't get along.

So, how can I trust him when he told me that he was deeply in love with me, it felt so fabricated and like this man just wants to control me for his own ego. He kept saying he loves and cares, even the last time we were together.

I wish it was true and I can't bring myself to accept it's not, and that he seems to be lying.

I am so tired of his manipulation.

I never wanted to date him, I only wanted to get to know him better, but in all these months he would shut down and stop talking to me when I was upset.

also p.s. he admitted he took me for granted in the past and all that did was make me feel even worse or angry. When I returned he wouldn't stop calling me and now he is playing these games again. He said he would never do anything to damage the relationship we were in.

I don't know if I am overreacting. Now, I have to go, as I am running out of food again, and will have to walk to the store again today...

Yeah that’s a lot going on I’m sorry to here that is what you are dealing with. Sometimes people just don’t grow up for some reason! I’m on and off of here throughout the day it’s nice to meet you.

I’ve never started a thread before I’m just feeling down but having anxiety attacks and I’m trying to keep my mind busy

@NovaRaiyn So sorry to hear this.

Maybe try a trained listener here at 7cups.

To connect to a listener please go to: https://www.7Cups.com/BrowseListeners/

To talk with a therapist please visit https://www.7Cups.com/online-therapy/?Ob=1

I hope this helps.

Side Note: 7Cups has support rooms were members support each other, and were members come looking for support.

I hope this helps.

@NovaRaiyn

I definitely can relate to feeling anxiety !!

i find that if i share what i am going through in the Sharing Circle chat room ...

that in time - i will feel better !!

NovaRiayn - i am inviting you to join me in the Sharing Circle chat room 😊

Having a horrible day...

@NovaRaiyn Thanks for creating this space.