Feeling like I don't matter
I'm trying to be happy
I don't want to angry or sad, but I'm finding really hard when I'm surrounded by emotionally dumb people & zero support.
If I went suicidal & took myself out tomorrow none of them would notice, they all think Im tough & could put up with anything.
I buy tickets to go out to movies, comedy shows, concerts even extras to shout other people & then they bail & I don't want to ho by myself so I can't even go out to enjoy myself, how messed up is that I can't even pay people to spend time with me & I swear I'm the zero complainer of my fam or groups so I don't understand... I waste my effort, time, money & then end up feeling like shit because I'm constantly being ditched
By my partner, my older kids, by family members & by my so called friends.
No one even wants to go to a restaurant or sit on a damn beach with me, wth am I doing wrong.
I'm trying not to be a home body or a depressive or a rage machine but I feel like I'm not allowed to unwind & go out to blow off steam.
I used to love my home, family & my life
Now I hate it & don't wanna be here & I don't wanna talk to anyone I know about it, feel like I'm gonna have a break down or end up in a looney bin.
Please help someone
@SeaGoatMoonCrab
I'm so sorry you are struggling. people care.
I'm sorry you're struggling with this. What I learned a long time ago, a flipping hard truth, which I believe is true for every person, is that no one cares about me as much as I would hope they would. Everyone has their own cross to bear, as it were, and perhaps they're just dealing with their own stuff which makes it hard to go out. Why don't you want to go by yourself - at least sometimes?
@SeaGoatMoonCrab
I'm so sorry you went through all that, I Wish I could help but I dunno what to say.
I think it would be beneficial for you to learn to enjoy having fun out by yourself. Go to that concert on your own, you will be surrounded by people you already have something in common, the band/singer. Make new connections. Have fun by yourself. We all have our plates full, so we can’t expect anybody to care as much as we do about everything. You need to focus on yourself and work on being happy even when youre by yourself.