Coddled teen seeking independence advice
I never played outside growing up, I was a bit of a recluse in childhood and didn't like to do much. The few friends I do have are magnet school friends who don't live within walking distance. That means I missed out on roaming the streets in groups and just needing to be home before dark. I missed out on street smarts and Sucking It Up when I have a problem and now, I can't deal with adversity and still need to learn to be independent.
I want to learn both. I want to learn how to be independent and deal with my own problems instead of needing my hand held through life. I need to learn how to accept my failures and make decisions.
So here I am seeking advice from the generation who babysat at twelve and was probably self sufficient by high school. The generation who seemed to pretty much raise themselves and built strength and initiative from playing and roaming all day. Is it too late for me? What do I need to do to develop independence when I have worrywart parents? I don't want to just be another spoonfed Gen Z.
@somebodynew721
Hello,
While I don’t have any advice to offer, I can offer support<3
I think you are very introspective.
It sounds like you know what you want and what you need to do to accomplish it.
It’s never to late to want to change something about yourself.
You got this <3 💛✨
Step into my DeLorean. We're going back to the 80s! Get ready to burn your butt on the metal slides and jump off swings and scrape up your knees because nobody cared about kneepads back then. After that, we're gonna ride our bikes down Suicide Hill (a really steep hill in my childhood town) at mach speed! Don't chicken out or they won't let you in the Butterfly Club.
Throw your cell phone away because we don't need to always be contacted. We're free! We gotta make plans ahead of time, before we leave the house. Are you feeling this? Let's bleach our hair and then dye it with Kool-aid. You can sleep over and we'll watch cartoons on Saturday morning (because that's the only time they're on). And we'll listen to the radio and get really excited when our songs come on. Ok, I'm having too much fun reminiscing 😄
It's not too late for you 🙂 Maybe you'll get to experience some independence when you grow up and move out of the house/go to college someday 🤔
While I look back at my childhood with fondness, I'm glad things have changed too. Some things are better.
As an older person I would say that you already have experience dealing with problems l, because problems are an inevitable part of everyday life. You might not have liked the way you faced those problems, yet you still got through those days. In order to be truly independent you have to be willing to accept that people are going to try to make you something you are not. That is why so many Americans are unhappy, they think something outside of themselves is what is the reason for all their anguish. No, the independence is you, you are and have always been a separate individual in this life process and it's difficulties.
I had to read the heading twice to make sure I read "teen" correctly. You sound very wise and self-aware. I agree with the other use who said you are introspective 💛
I am in awe of you.
I don't know if I have any advice but I think life has a way of throwing curveballs our way in order to teach us the lessons we need to learn. I don't think we are ever really prepared. I do relate to you bcs I was coddled well into my adult years but unlike you, I had no idea I needed to learn anything until I faced hardships!
I will say that please do not ever get hard on yourself or beat yourself up and say mean things to yourself when things go south. I had done that and it only exacerbates and perpetuates the pain, and gives one more issues to deal with like low self-esteem. Nuh-uh, nothing is worth you having a negative image of yourself.
I wish you the best. You're doing amazing!
