All alone
My parents were never loving growing up. My father was constantly working and absent and my mother was emotionally abusive and extremely bitter. It was always just me and my sister. We grew up extremely close, becoming best friends.
A few years ago she was diagnosed with cancer. It was the most difficult thing we've ever had to deal with. The thought of losing my sister, best friend and confidant was too much to bear. After countless therapies and surgeries she finally beat it, and is now cancer free.
As horrid as the past years were, we bonded on our grief and fear. We leaned on each other for support, and it helped us get through. I never thought that anything would come between us, but that's where we are now.
She recently met someone online. Being disabled after her surgery, my sister became prone to depression and self criticism. I've always promoted her to put herself out there since I'm very much introverted and antisocial. However lately she's changed. We went from always being together, to barely spending any time together. She's always on her phone, even when we're out. She's constantly distracted, and doesn't listen when I talk to her.
Everytime I call her out on it, she calls me selfish. How am I selfish for wanting to spend time with just her? I don't understand what's happened. All I know is that I feel rejected and so alone. We hardly talk anymore, because it always leads to arguing. The times she's walked in on me crying, she just closes my door and walks away.
I don't know what to do anymore. I'm so sad that our relationship is falling apart. She acts like nothing is wrong, and I don't know how to talk to her.
Hey, I want to tell you that your feelings are valid. It must be painful for you to see her like this as you consider her very close. Sometimes when we meet someone new, we start spending more time with them. As you said, you have tried to talk to her but she didn't listen. A part of it can be because she thought you're not letting her talk to that person. (I'm not judging you, her or the situation.) But you guys really need a proper conversation. So, what can we do about it? We can either deal with the situation with anger or with smile and patience. And I feel later would be the right way. Don't you think so?:)🤍
So, first of all try to go to her and ask her if she's doing okay. You can figure out a situation when you think she's calm. As you said, she is close to you. You need to let her know how much you care about her as she should know that this is not your frustration but love and care for her. She needs to know that you only want her time and attention for yourself too without taking away the time she's giving to other people. ❤️
If she's okay with it then you can decide on a time to talk. For example: If it's okay to both of you then you can decide on one or few hours in a day when you're without your cellphones and doing a fun activity. :)
If she seems stressed because of something else then you can ask her about it too.
This way you can handle the situation calmly and without any fights.
Just remember that even if it doesn't go well, you're trying your best. Your efforts matter. ❤️
We can't control what others feel about us. What we can do is trying to understand the situation, feelings of other person and what we feel about ourselves.
Don't be too hard on yourself. You're enough for yourself too. :)
I hope everything works out for you.
Sending hugs and positivity. Also, happy new year. ✨🌻❤️