Wonder if the problem is ultimately me
I'm wondering if ultimately I am the problem, because the only people that have ever shown an interest in me whether it be in a romantic or friendship sense have all been lonely people who sought me out to temporarily fill empty voids and egos within themselves.
I have all given people who I found to be appealing and interesting who I thought found me interesting as well a clean slate and a chance to converse and see what it lead to if anything. Especially if they asked to exchange numbers.
The truth eventually comes forward.
They have all lied and pretended to be genuinely interested in me but eventually they all discarded me like trash when they found confidence, self love, and found someone they were genuinely interested in.
Been in 4 long term relationships in life, each lasting 5 years, during the 5th year when there's talks and plans of marriage and sharing the remainder of our lives together, all of them told me that they never were genuinely interested in me in any way, were lonely and desperate for a relationship and chose me because "you appeared easy to get along with and you seemed very lonely because you're always by yourself "..
Then after telling me that, they either ended things officially, or ghosted me.
These type of people I've always met in life.
This is why I am always very confused when it comes to someone being genuine and fake. Also when it comes to determining red flags.
Honestly, the first time ever I sorta picked up on what may be red flags...was the situation with that guy that I recently posted about.
Am I the problem?? Are voids, loneliness and desperation the underlying basis to any type of relationship that very few will admit to and be openand honest about?
Even if it starts genuinely, does it always end up staying because of comfortability, and loneliness??
Am I fooling myself into believing that perhaps someone will genuinely want me??
Will I always be approached by "you're available and so am I let's make a go out of it" people???
Relationships should be more than, "I'll scratch your back if you scratch mine."
Sounds like you are done being a stepping stone.
You ask if this relates to you somehow. Do you bypass your own needs to get temporary gain?
Many relationships are not founded in love, but need. However, some relationships are genuine. When found, those sincere relationships are worth more than gold.
@lavenderCranberry3121 I'm sorry you've had such challenging experiences in your relationships and connections with others. "It's imperative to remember that you are not the problem."
Loneliness and desperation can sometimes lead people to make choices they later regret, but it does not reflect their worth or character. "A Diamond remains a Diamond, whether hidden in the trash or placed in a Crown."
Take your time to heal from past experiences, and consider seeking support from a therapist or counselor if you think it is needed. They can help you navigate your feelings and build healthier connections in the future.
Lastly, you always have us, the 7cups listeners, a click away if you need to talk about anything or vent your feelings.
@lavenderCranberry3121
The way I see, they are the problem and not you. It's not your fault you gave up such a friendly easy going vibe. It's who you are. They are the fools. Only using you for their selfishness to fill the void in their lives. They don't really love you.
I still do believe that there are people who are meant to be for us. Sometimes it just takes so long.
Hope your next relationship would be somebody who love you without any reasons.
Be strong.
Is your life how you want it to be? Have you made the best of life?
Yes, you are the "problem"
Reality is as it is. It is up to you to make the best of it
There's no point bemoaning people who use you or don't fulfil your wants and desires. Nothing is handed to you on a plate. It's your life and you can either make it good yourself or blame others for not meeting your expectations
End of the day, your happiness is up to you
