We attract people, the way we are

@wittyMap7054 I haven’t heard it phrased that way but I’ll take a guess. People are attracted to people who seem safe. Their body language says they are friendly and not a threat. So stuff like smiling, eye contact, open ended questions. If we ourselves are feeling anxious, fearful etc. we tend to smile less, maybe cross our arms, not make eye contact. Our body language makes the other person react in the same manner. I think this reaction we have is sub-conscious. 

I think of the level of consciousness. I actually say this a lot.

You attract people that are on the same level as you. 

If you talk and act like everyone else, like normal people, then you have all the normal problems. and you do what normal people do, you go where they go and hence you will meet them and get closer to them because what you know is what makes you feel safe.

If you choose to be a vegetarian, that alone changes a big part of your life. out of a sudden you are different from the normal people. you go to different restaurants or supermarkets or parties.. your philosophy of life is different and hence you feel safer, more comfortable when you meet other vegetarians. Because you have a thing in common that is very important to you.

You can take this further into details of your personality or character, the way you speak, what you believe to be right and wrong, your plans for the future, how you thinks life is supposed to be,...

... which basically means you have asked yourself all these questions. the more questions you ask yourself, and the more you answer, the more you become conscious of all these things, you become aware of options, of how you want to live, and then also of you do NOT want to live. 

another big example is: I don't drink. I don't think it makes any sense to consume alcohol. so I do not want this in my life. hence I do not go to bars, or places designed to drink at. Hence I also want a partner who thinks the same. Hence my options to chose a partner from get diminished drastically. 

The biggest obstacle to growth in consciousness is fear of the unknown. Because you will change your life, and more than anything the people in your life, and that means you need to let many of current friends and family go, and you do not yet know who will come after that. 

I already said way too much.

Let me know if you could get something out of what I said.

@wittyMap7054 its in the statement really, if we are happy, outgoing then more people would want to hang out with us, if we are in a negative mood, moody then people tend to run or not want to hang out with us. it depends what we want to show to how people look at us or read us for. 

@wittyMap7054  When I hear this in a mental health-focused setting, my take on it is that we have to look at ourselves if we keep attracting people who are not good for us.

Some forms of dysfunction attract other forms of dysfunction.  Like, if you are the sort of person who tends to avoid conflict and acquiesce to the wishes of others, you may find yourself in relationships with people who are looking for an enabler.  

Or let's say you are a person who doesn't know how to draw healthy boundaries.  You are likely to attract people who will take advantage of that, in that case.

I also think it may have to do more generally with attitude or affect.  Like, if a person has an attitude that life is only suffering and everyone is awful, they are likely to attract people who either have the same attitude or who are willing to tolerate the negativity (or think they can change it).  If a person has an affect that is cold or unpredictable, they will attract people who are looking for someone to repeat old patterns with as a form of self-soothing (i.e. repetition compulsion).

Overall, I think it means we play a part in what sort of people we attract.  That is not to say we should feel bad about attracting people who aren't good for us (if that is the case).  It's more that we need to do what we can to change ourselves, to make us less appealing to those who would take advantage or otherwise cause harm (and more appealing to those who would enrich our lives in some way).

All I can think of is, birds of a feather flock together

@wittyMap7054   The first thing that comes to mind is your appearance. i mean this in a non racist way, but all the mexican kids at my school like to band togeather and create a huge group. its just latino kids. they are drawn to eachother based off their ethnicity. 

you notice that when people have something in common, they are drawn to one another. all the time I see time and time again, when a kid is depressed they likely find depressed friends. they say opposites attract, and to a certain extent its true...but in reality like minded people find each other. people join clubs based off interest right? its no different there.