Loniness

@neatApple1701 I found it particularly valuable to focus first on why I didn't like being alone. For me, it was a lack of self-love. Once I had a better relationship with myself that positively transformed my relationships with others. I no longer needed to be clingy when I became more comfortable in my own skin. This led to more balanced relationships. Thought I would share, and hope this helps!

Thanks so much for taking the time to reply.

@neatApple1701

I think same.

@neatApple1701

I distance with people when I feel i am getting cling or demanding.

They don't need me in their life as they r either busy or have other around to take care of them.

@neatApple1701, I know how it feels, you have to love yourself completely, that is the solution, I am saying this with experience. I have started taking care of myself, and enjoying myself, Yes, it gets tough sometimes but that is the solution, as no one understands you better than yourself. We have to empower ourselves.

Yes, it is as the above poster NJ1968 has said - Loneliness is really about not sufficiently enjoying our OWN company. When we live unfulfilling lives, we sometimes seek to fill the void in our existence with the company of other people, with distractions from our own thoughts and being.

But it is as you realized - other people have their own lives, and can not accompany you constantly. More importantly the purpose of other people is to live and find the meaning within their own lives! Their reason for being is not to distract you from your own thoughts whenever you require it. Thus, when we formulate friendships around our need to escape our own loneliness, we are responding to our fears of being unliked, our anxiety of our own thoughts that our lives seem empty, our need for validation, and all of those things translate into “neediness”. Instead of being a celebration of mutual happiness and love, we have turned our friendship into an association of negative uncomfortable, often selfish emotions. Even though we do not mean to do this consciously, we should try to be aware of the dynamic in our friendships. Are we sincere in wanting to increase the other persons happiness and celebrate their lives? Or do we merely desire their company because we fear our own loneliness?

Other people can only make you feel less “ALONE” but they cannot address your own “LONELINESS”. To do that, you must fulfil yourself with love and self-acceptance. Pour yourself wholly into your existence. Everything you do, do it with the whole of your being. Every unnecessary thought, that does not fulfill you, discard it. When you become a person of purpose, of meaning, of consciousness, you will suddenly feel your whole being is brimming with life, that the universe is moving within you and you will feel connected with yourself, in a way that is uniquely powerful and ONLY YOU can achieve this for yourself.

Then you will shine like a beacon, because your sense of purpose, and self acceptance will radiate confidence and self-assuredness. You will embrace the idea that you are complete, and whole, just as you are. And people might feel more connected with you also, because we all gravitate to that which makes us feel ALIVE.

But it will not matter any more. Because you will focus more inwardly, and no longer seek out the company of others as a solution to the loneliness that is already inside you.

Wishing you all the best!

CatsInTheCradle