I'm triggered by seeing couples and engagement announcements. Where's my trigger warning?

@blindbob What's a trigger warning? What do you mean by "one" when you said "Why I don't get one"?

@blindbob - I'm sorry for any upset. I do hope you can find a safe spot and you're not alone. 

@futureDeveloper and others: 

What is a trigger warning? A trigger warning (or 'tw') is a content advisory at the start of share that warns others in the room / environment that what follows may be distressing or triggering. These are necessary and prevalant across mental health platforms. 

For example, the use of a trigger warning might look like this:
User 1: (tw) pregnancy
User 2: (has opportunity to leave the room / not read the forum post)
User 1: (can share about pregnancy without upsetting anyone) 

What is being triggered? This is being exposed to something distressing that causes (or "triggers") invasive thoughts, panic attacks, and a variety of other possible ailments, depending on the person and the traumas they have endured.

It's a very serious topic. In this thread, @blindbob is asking (sorry blindbob, I am expanding and not trying to put words in your mouth!) "Is it possible for people to start adding a trigger warning (tw) before sharing about their engagements, because it is very distressing for some people to read about." Which is a reasonable question. Different people have different triggers, and that does deserve respect. It may be very difficult to meet everyone's needs, and implement new guidelines site-wide for what is considered a trigger, but we can do our best to be mindful.

For more information on Trigger Warnings and Trauma, please see our lovely Trauma Community here: https://www.7cups.com/forum/trauma/

@blindbob

He's joking...

I mean, obviously you can't have trigger warnings for everything in life

I don't like balloons they freak me out

@Themaninblackxxx Maybe he wasn't joking?

I get triggered by wedding pictures and engagement announcements on social media etc. as well. Also photos of people enjoying their lives and quality times with loved ones. Holidays are the worst. I'm already dreading Christmas and New Year that are here soon (I live in a country where they don't celebrate Thanksgiving so I'm safe next week at least... and give thanks to God for that). My only loved one is my cat. Just turned 40 this summer. On my birthday, I received three happy birthday-messages, that's all. No celebration, no presents, no one there with me except for my cat. That was one of the saddest days of my lives so far.

What I want to say is that for people like me, wedding announcements etc. can be so painful reminders of my loneliness that a trigger warning wouldn't be a joke at all. At least I'm not laughing.

On the other hand, what is triggering to most people isn't that for me. I'm not afraid to talk about dark topics such as suicidal ideation, self harm or such things. I've started to despise romantic movies and tv shows, just too triggering to me. I often prefer a documentary of dark topics such as religious cults, SA etc. these days. It makes me feel less lonely, like I'm not the only one suffering in this world. 

Maybe I'm twisted but that's just my life. My point is, we're all different, and that's not a joke. 

@TheInsignificantOther

So people being happy, being in love, having fun, enjoying life and sharing joy in human connection triggers you?

Okay, that's a you problem

Do you see my point?

I'm sure BlindBob isn;t hopeful that they will put trigger warnings on pictures of happy couples - so in that sense he is "joking" . Same as I don't like dogs, I find them nauseating, yet every social media platform is filled with pics of dogs slobbering and people finding them cute pr hilarious - yawn

@Themaninblackxxx Yes that's my problem, I agree with you.

I thought this was a safe space for people with different kinds of problems. Do you have a problem with that?

@TheInsignificantOther

No but what do you expect anyone to do? Say ok we will not be happy or post anything joyful in case it triggers you?

You can be bitter about it but it makes no difference

@Themaninblackxxx If I'm bitter? In my worst days, yes. Those days I usually avoid social media. In better days, I can handle happy people having fun a little better. 

I don't except anyone to do anything about it. It sucks, yes, but there are quite a few of things in life that suck even more. It's not something I can't live with. 

My point was to show support and compassion to blindbob because I can relate so well to what s/he wrote. It was also kind of therapeutic for me to put my thoughts into words. That was my only purpose. So my intention was not to tell anyone to stop showing how happy they are because my feelings might get hurt. That would have been very selfish of me. 

@TheInsignificantOther

Sure, I just think it's a bit lame if we can't laugh about anything. Everything has to be so earnest on this site. I don;t see how its helpful to mental health. Some things need to be taken lightly - like the original post which is obviously not a legitimate complaint

@Themaninblackxxx Ok now I get your point...

I didn't mean to completely disagree with you when I said "maybe he wasn't joking". Probably it was a joke with some truth to it? I wanted to bring up the truth side of what blindbob wrote, hope you get what I mean? 

Obviously, it'd be ridiculous if trigger warnings should be added to all the things that could possibly trigger somebody. I know one person who has worm phobia and another one who's afraid of cats. Let's add your getting triggered by balloons and dogs and me (and blindbob) getting triggered by happy couples and engagement announcements, and what else might trigger the rest of the 8 billion people in this world... Yes, it would get a little funny indeed. So laugh away, that's your birth right! 🤣

@TheInsignificantOther

Yes, we all feel poorly in comparison if we see certain things, especially if our life isn't going the way we hoped it would - but that's just life. Some things you have to just put up with rather than complaining that it affects you... obv pictures of happy couples are just something you have to put up with and I think Blindbob was being sardonic when suggesting that they should have a trigger warning. It's all good - we came to an understanding :)

@blindbob

If everyone cared enough to say what they were going to talk about or post before they they talked about or posted it we would indeed be in a more understanding world.