Germaphobia - Am I overreacting?

Hello, it’s been so long since I’ve used this app, alot has happened since then. Just wanted to come back here to talk and feel a little less alone.

I don’t even know whether to call myself a germaphobe or not because nobody understands me. My mom will look at me weird if I refuse to do something that requires touching someone else’s stuff. I don’t touch doorknobs, don’t touch light switches, don’t hug or get close to anyone anymore/ including my family, I don’t eat anyone’s cooking or get food from restaurants/fast food places anymore, I always want distance between me and the other person I’m talking to if we are in the same room. I don’t let people touch me. My germaphobia has gotten worse than it was years back and since covid. I am obsessed with keeping things neat and clean. I don’t like it when people help me do stuff especially if it involves them touching my stuff because my mind will scream at me until I eliminate their germs with hand sanitizer. If I don’t eliminate the germs, I just know the germs will spread to everything in my room. A few days back, my mom’s boyfriend put back up my fire alarm for me and I thought about that alarm for 2 days straight… I was thinking about how someone else touched it and how there are germs on it and they are probably spreading around my entire room. I thought about it for 2 days straight. The only reason I didn’t eliminate the germs in time was because I can’t reach the fire alarm/don’t want to trigger it to going off if I try to wipe it with hand sanitizer. I don’t like it when people touch my doorknob to my room, I don’t share stuff anymore (combs, lotion etc) if I do, I’ll just end up letting them keep it because they touched it. Germaphobia has ruined my life for the better and for the worst. I will never be able to be in a relationship, have friends again and be able to do stuff with them or be able to have a quiet mind.

Also when someone is sick/mentions they’re sick, I always end up panicking and thinking that I’m gonna get sick just by standing by them for 3 seconds and then I end up taking Tylenol and Benadryl just in case. I also get my humidifier too. I wear my mask always and take my hand sanitizer with me wherever I go. I sometimes wear long sleeves if I have to open a door out in public. I never shop with a shopping cart (I always carry my groceries around the store). I avoid aisles that people are on and always walk the long way (I go down aisles where nobody is) even if I was getting something from the other one. I immediately shower when I get home and scrub my body very aggressively.

My mom gets mad at me sometimes and calls me weird/says it drives her crazy. Then when I tell her about health she always says that I’ll be the main one to get sick because I wear a mask and worry about staying safe too much? :( I don’t go out anywhere. I also don’t sit on the toilet seat to use the bathroom/I always put alot of tissue down before I sit and I sit on the edge. I also never walk barefoot on the floor at home no matter what. I also change my clothes from when I go to the kitchen and from when I get back into my room. For example, I have a pair of clothes to wear for when I go to the kitchen and after I make it back to my room, I will immediately change into the other clean clothes but that are only for my room and then I’m allowed to lay in my bed.