Daughter text and how to take it
Hi, hoping to get some feedback from moms or dads or anyone in general abiut texts and kids.
Quick backbround. I am father of 2 daughters. 14 and 10. We are in a temporary living situation. We are staying in a two br home. Moyher in law is also staying with us. I get the couch in a open kitchen area. I can tell and vibe everyone has become irratated and annoyed that I stay on the couch. I have been vulnerable for atleast 4 months now because I feel a lone. I have a job situation that has build a finance burden. I couldnt get any presents for anyone like I normally do.
I ask about a book if my 10 yo still needs it. Her is her text.
First of all, i am not disappointed. Second of all, why would you go walking til 12 am+. That's honestly just stupid. Read that correctly and make sure you don't think I'm saying "you're being stupid." No, I do not need you to borrow book 3 without anyones permission. I do not give you permission to get book, unless it's for yourself. Don't buy things for other people unless they didn't ask for it. The durian you bought last night will only be eaten by you. Mama will not eat it. Why? She has cough, can't you see that? She did not ask for you to buy durian. Please stop wasting and spending money on useless things. We need to save for project. And we can't finish the project when you're just out here spending money when we're trying to save it. Read this paragraph with sense. Don't take this as hating you. If you don't understand this, then try to understand, and read carefully. Please don't borrow Book 3 unless its for yourself to read. I did not ask for you to borrow book, neither did anyone. I know how to borrow and find books from my own school. I hate people who assume. I can not talk with people like that. Do not think I'm saying "You always assume and I'll never talk to you again." No. Read this better with sense. Only get things for yourself, unless others ask you to get it. I do not need the book at all. If you borrow and lend to me, I will not accept. Again, buy and bring things only for yourself. I do not want an apology paragraph and the conclusion being "I'm sorry." Sorry does not fix anything at all. It's just a word. Letters stuck together. I do not ask for you to get me anything. Thanks.
This feels like an agressive reply and I feel its due to school or grandma. My wife has been the aggressor this year and I have been more passive. But I havent been able to be involved with school much. Grandma is aggressice as well. And these are the type of replies I get from my 10 yo
Welcome any insight. Thanks
This is the first time from all the previous texts I have been sending. First time she went full Rambo mode this reply
@fairmindedTortoise4898
Iare you sure that yourwife didnt type it?.
As for the answer : just send " thank you for replying , information received". Dont go on discussing this with her , you dont know who changed her thinking like that? So its better to send just a simple reply and really no need to say sorry.
Yea, this is the first time she replied like this. Usually its a similar tone but more shirt responses.
I appreciate you taking the time to share feedback. I know people are not professionals here but I don't habe much social skills and just hearing simple feedbacks helps a lot and I do use at my own discretion. Although strangers, I feel here I will get some genuine support.
Thank you once more for taking the time.
Hello, I would agree that the text message has a rather aggressive tone. I'm sorry you are going through this. I always suggest that people avoid arguing by text message because meaning is lost, context is lost, misunderstandings pile up, and hurt feelings are magnified. Additionally, the presence of a text message (or an email for that matter) allows us to keep reading the hurtful messages over and over. It's like poking a bleeding wound so that it cannot heal.
it's never easy when you are the target, or the scapegoat, for other people's anger, resentment, fear, or worry. I hope you will be able to find the strength to set limits so that these people you live with will be more respectful of you.