45 and alone again.

@conscientiousCucumber3824 Hi there, I am so sorry to hear about your relationship. This sounds like a terrible time for you right now. As a listener, I am not allowed to give advice but I hope that you get lots of replies and support from other members here. Maybe also tyy and pop into the 35+ chatroom on Wednesdays when it is open all day and night.

Listening - One Step At A Time!

@conscientiousCucumber3824

I'm so happy you managed to get out of a horrible relationship! I can understand how scary that can be, especially since it was so long. Thankfully you never again have to wake up to what you endured during those 20 years. You're free now :)

@conscientiousCucumber3824

I hope you find the peace and you deserve after the horrible thing that happened to you. Hope you are feeling better and that your days are going to be getting better now that you're free.

@conscientiousCucumber3824 Thank you for reaching out, please join our sharing circles and connect with listeners and others in the community forums like this one. Give yourself time to heal and seek professional guidance if needed. I have worked through a lot of therapy to heal from domestic violence and I would not be here if I didn’t get help on my journey.

Hi. I know what it's like to be lonely. I'm 43 and a single parent of an 8 year old autistic child. She is my life and she struggles with behavior on a daily basis. We have trouble going to public places because she doesn't respect boundaries. I have decided that I won't date until she's grown up. So far I'm doing OK being single, but it was hard at first when I got out of the relationship as I imagine it must be hard for you right now. Things will get better. It just hurts the hardest right after a breakup.

Take care.

can i talk to you ?

I can relate to your post though my relationship has only lasted for 10 years when it ended. I can remember how scared I was and how overwhelmed. I remember I saw no even remotely possible path.

These days - 4 years after the breakup - my life is so much better! My life is full of people who care about me and I am in a loving and respectful relationship for a year by now.

It's possible to get to your feet and to change your life.

What helped me was to be clear to myself that I wanted to recover. I wanted to get to my feet. Daily self-care helped me heal. I started practicing The Miracle Morning by Hal Elrod which is starting every day with the six life SAVERS

Silence (meditation)

Affirmations

Visualization

Exercise

Reading

Scribing (journaling).

There were many days on which doing this routine was all I managed to do. But I am certain that following it was what got me through all this. I also came across the book "Writing as a Way of Healing" by Louise DeSalvo. Processing the difficult experiences which I had made helped me a lot. The dark and updating memories quite burdening me.

I started volunteering to surround myself with kind people and the people who I found through volunteering are a large part of my social circle these days.

Patience is important in the situation which you are in. Patience and empathy for yourself and your struggles.

I told you what I did and what helped me but really you will have to find your own path. I hope the resources that I pointed out here might be of help to you. I just want to tell you again that things can get better. But you will need time, patience and empathy to recover.

I wish you all the strength which you will need on your journey from here.