Not feeling good enough
I am about to turn 36. A guy that broke my heart always ends up back in my life and only giving me the bare minimum. He tells me he still thinks about me, fantasies about me, etc. It always gives me a tiny thread of hope that maybe he is in love with me. But then I end up feeling like he only cares about me sexually with no regard for me as an actual person. We haven't seen eachother in almost 2 years but I am still heartbroken. I tried cutting him off which worked for almost a year. I don't know why I just can't let this go. If I had friends in my position I'd tell them they're being ridiculous. But I just can't help this feeling that we are still deeply attached and I should never give up. I decided to stop trying so hard to control the situation. But I am so afraid he will meet someone else eventually and move on. Even though he broke up with me because he admittedly is afraid of commitment and intimacy. I just wish I had more insight than "he's trash just move on". He isn't trash or I wouldn't have fallen in love with him.
@StarrySkySarah
Hi! Sounds painful. Letting go, separations, endings, change can hurt a lot and we need to grieve. I find it helps to fill my life with other things I love - friends, hobbies, goals, activities.
Hi @StarrySkySarah first, if it helps I been where it sounds like you are now. Same age, with a noncommittal guy I wouldn’t leave and who wouldn’t leave me. Now I’m married to totally different amazing man. We’ve been married 4 years. That other guy was trash and unfortunately it took absolute heartbreak for me to see it and move on. Foremost, if you want to have children, you’re wasting time. And this goes with the second thing, when it’s right it’s not confusing, it doesn’t hurt and it doesn’t take a whole lot of time (that same time you’d be using to have a family, settle down or travel together) to figure it out, for him or for you. I wish someone had told me then, just looked me in the face and said: You are better than this guy, you deserve better and better is out there for you. Walk away from him, let him go. Live your life and love yourself. Do not give yourself to someone so undeserving that they don’t know if they want you or how to treat you. Simple as that.
I know what your going thru. Its hard to let somebody go when u care so much. And they dont give u that love or care back equally. Yea we say just move on but its hard. I hope that u can feel better bout him & move on.
I know how you feel.. I’m in the same place 😔
Hi, I think it's not that he's so special, there's nothing much that he works for the relationship, or does something good for you, or cares about you, it's just that your choice of guys is limited.
I think you should work on your self esteem, and stuff like that, and you'll attract better guys with better attitude.
Maybe why you fell in love with him doesn’t have much to do with him but more to do with tou