Loneliness and Human Contact
Hi,
I'm struggling very much right now. I've been divorced for over 6 years now and trying to get myself to a better place. I have felt so alone for quite a while now. I can be in a room with some friends and feel totally empty. It's been a long road and I'm tired of doing it alone.
Other than my work and hugs and play time from my kids, I haven't had any kind od human contact in about 5 years. It's so draining just wanting some one to just hold your hand for a minute. I know most of it is my fault. I'm not that good looking and I have trust issues. I was so hurt that I don't even know how to proceed. I had a hard enough time trying to date before I was.married and now it seems impossible. I'm so messed up right now that it makes me feel depressed bc I can't or don't know how to move forward.
Anyways thanks for listening
@Hawkeye61
Hi there. Have you tried any of the dating sites? They are surprisingly pretty good & accurate on who you might want to spend time with going forward. Also, I know a lot don't like it but exercise is always helpful too. Just to clear your head. Take in the beauty everywhere around you. Try to notice and be observant of your surroundings. It's been cold & dreary in a lot of the parts of the country & you better believe that has a lot to do with it too.
I'm familiar with that feeling of not particularly enjoying your friends. I'm not a clinician but meds have really worked incredibly well for me. In fact, so well so that once I started feeling better, I got up off the couch & actually enjoyed some fast walking & watching my diet. I didn't starve myself at all but just those simple added routines helped me to lose 45 LBS!!!
Now when I walk into places, people check me out & are interested. I never thought losing some weight would change my life around the way it has? The meds (for me anyway) as it was explained to me are just something my body needs. It is deficient in some of the chemicals we need to feel good. Never feel bad about trying or starting with meds.
See a true professional. You can start out with your PCP but honestly, my PCP screwed my meds up a few times and thank goodness I was better, because he made me worst at a few different intervals. I would suggest seeing a psychiatrist to start. Then they can send their recommendations to your PCP.
They don't need to hear about problems. They are trained to understand how you are feeling & then prescribe meds to help alleviate those feelings. Again, nothing to be ashamed of. In fact, I take 3 low dose antidepressants as my own "formula" to help me with different areas.
I hope this has been helpful. If not, no worries. Always do what is best for YOU!!! YOU deserve to feel love again & be touched & feel great. Start living life again!!
I really and honestly do wish you all the best & lots of continued success!!
Be well, my friend.
Take care. M
Hi Everyone,
Thank you for the support, just having people showing a little kindness has made me feel a bit better. I appreciate everything so far. It had made me feel a little less lonely knowing others are out there willing to share and talk. I am up for and conversations anyone wants to have. The human contact part of my life will show up one day I know but is still hard right now. I do have a positive attitude towards where my life is going but have had set backs like everyone else in life. I am just needing some help and encouragement on getting there. Thank you so much. Please continue to message and if you want to chat, we'll let's talk. Thank you
@Hawkeye61
I hope you're well today! We all need encouragement and it is completely okay and healthy to admit it.
How is your day/night going? Hope to hear from you soon. : )
Hey NewHorizon5544
I'm doing OK. Have had a couple up and down days but nothing too bad. Just feeling burned out and tired. I'm near the end of my schooling and I just want to be done.
I've been trying to better than I was yesterday and take one step at a time. It usually works but lately I feel I've gone backward more than forwards. It'll eventually get better but I've been in this type of predicament for too long and trying to figure out how to go forward more often and more than my backwards steps weighs on me and makes me tired.
So overall I'm ok just need to figure out how to recharge myself.
Hope you are doing ok. How had your last 2 days been?? What are you hoping for the next 2 days to happen?
@Hawkeye61
Hello 👋 I am so sorry for the late reply.
You are close to the end of your schooling- congratulations on that!
I can understand the up and down days, as well as the feeling of going backwards. Sometimes, I think that steps forward can even come with a feeling of going backwards (even though we may not actually be.)
It's good to remind ourselves and even celebrate our steps forward and the things we are working toward. And understanding that the way forward isn't the exact same for every person.
I have been doing okay! I am talking with a therapist and making some progress and even though it doesn't always feel comfortable, I am hopeful and trying to keep my focus on the steps I am taking to move forward; as well as forgiving any mistakes I may make along the way, and anyone else I may need to forgive.
I am hopeful for both of us moving forward and being kind to ourselves on our journeys ahead. I will pray for you also, if that's okay with you?
Hope to hear from you soon and hope you're well today/tonight. <3
Hi NewHorizon5544
I'm perfectly ok with prayer. I'm trying to reconnect that art of my life. It's been a struggle for me. But slow and steady will get me there.
I'm happy that you are progressing in the steps. I feel like I go up and down the steps like in a musical. But it's so good that you are doing it. I did counciling before. It is so hard sometimes because if you can truly open up it helps a lot. It's so hard and uncomfortable but it is so worth it. They can help if you have the right therapist. I was lucky and found one. So hopefully you have found one that you can trust.
I know my life from six years ago or even longer to now has gotten so much better. I see it but still don't fully believe it. I just don't want to let my guard down. It's easier that way, at least for now.
Hope you are having a great day, and remember God is always there.
@Hawkeye61
How are you today? I hope things are well with you friend.
I can understand the feelings of swirling around with emotion. I try to remind myself that no matter how I feel at any time, I still have a sound mind and am in control of myself. It helps me stay grounded.
How was your weekend? Hope you had a moment or two to rest.
Also, if you don't mind me aaking- are you speaking with a dr or therapist about how you're feeling? If so, have they provided any input you find helpful?
Much love to you!
@NewHorizon5544
Hi. How are you doing. Sorry I've been busy with school lately. I am doing ok. I'm tired and not sleeping well but that will eventually fix itself.
I'm not speaking with anyone right now. If I have problems I do call a holiness. It usually helps just talking with someone.i have very limited human contact and I don't really talk with what I have left for friends. Once I'm done school and can afford it, I'm gonna go find someone to talk with. I've been talking with my pastor and he is trying to get me some help. I want to get back into church and God more but I am struggling with it. While talking with him I discovered that I have a fear of failure and a fear of success. It sucks. Feeling like I am gonna fail at everything and then fearing success and the bar being raised only to fail at the new level has been hard to deal with. I know I can be better and am but scared of it. So, I'll get there and start being better for myself. It's just time and effort now.
Anyways, I'll talk to you later.
@Hawkeye61
I completely understand about a late reply, no worries at all. I too can be late responding so I get it!
I am very glad to hear that you're able to talk to your pastor. It can be helpful to have a safe place to speak with someone about our deepest struggles. It can help us overcome.
I understand the fear of failure and success, it's almost like feeling afraid to fail and afraid to succeed and what will be after that success. But it's important to remember we may fail and succeed in life, what's really important is our state of mind, our lives, our loved ones.
We want to plan years ahead sometimes (at least I do lol) but sometimes all we need to focus on is the nest step ahead. One step at a time we can make it through.
I hope you're having a good day/night and have been able to rest.
Remember: you are loved, important, unique, priceless, to God and to others.
Hugs & love to you friend!
@Hawkeye61
I feel the same way as you it makes me feel so good to lay in my bed and only see my parents that’s all ever since I lost my ex fiancé things have been so hard for me I lost my unborn son a month after he was gone and it’s like my whole life was taken from me so I feel so much better by myself and I feel that I’m being attacked if I’m around other people the walls close in and my chest caves in as well so it’s hard for me I still wish I could hold someone hand without feeling like my guard has to be up or I have to tell them to leave me alone for me to feel better I feel as if my mind wants to just be in this bed forever.
@Hawkeye61
My experience is very similar to you. I'm not married and don't have kids, but I am all I have. I have to journal a lot just to meet the need of talking to someone. It's such a closed up, imprisoned feeling not being able to talk to someone.
@seashell145
I really appreciate you sharing this, it brought soothing to my experience.
@Hawkeye61 Do not worry. Actually, I believe that we just need to do what we can decide to do, and everything will be fine. Just take your time and do little steps, take care.
@Hawkeye61
Hey there! I hope all is well. Dropping by to say hello and see how you are doing today? :)
@NewHorizon5544
Woah, what a coincidence.
I have been away for a month from 7cups.
Yesterday i login my profile. And today i found you again. Good to see you😉
@BlueMoonBlackTree
Hey there!! Good to see you here ! Ah, coincidences! How are you?