The Art of Detachment
We easily get attached to anyone... LITERALLY ANYONE. However, once they're out of the picture, we find it hard to move on, be it friends or partners or pets or even non-living things. But how do we get over it and start fresh? Detachment is the solution. So today, we'll be discovering The Art of Detachment.
Common myths about detachment
- It makes your emotions numb
- It is only for escape
- It leads to isolation and numbness
- It means suppressing emotions
- It makes you uncaring and indifferent
Basically, the myth about detachment is it makes you cold-hearted and apathetic.
But no, detachment isn't about completely disconnecting from emotions. It's about finding healthy balance with emotions and things so we can stay calm and peaceful even in the hideous situations. In fact, it'll extent empathy by allowing individuals to connect and understand with each other without being overwhelmed by their own emotions.
How do we practice detachment?
- Practicing Mindfulness meditation
- Focusing on self-reflection and journals
- Cultivating gratitude
- Practicing self-care
- Developing a growth mindset
- Setting healthy boundaries
- Letting go of the expectations
- Practicing proactive management
- Understanding that everything is temporary and change is the natural part of life
- Focusing on what you can control
Practicing detachment is all about developing a mindset and adopting behaviors that allow us to maintain a healthy distance from the situation both emotionally and mentally.
Warning: Just like overdose of anything is harmful, if we don't maintain a healthy balance of detachment practice in our life, it will not be good.
Feel free to share your experience about attachment or detachment. Also if you've any other ways of practicing detachment, feel free to share it.
@pandanfe
Hi Pandanfe! 😊 ❤️ Thank you for this amazing forum post, for sharing of yourself, your thoughts and your wisdom for us all! This is so beautifully written and your forum post could represent a well spring of hope for many others.
The art of detachment. Probably not an easy thing for anyone, however sometimes it's truly necessary. For many, detachment comes about after trying to put boundaries in place. We as kind and helpful people have, in good faith, truly have done our very best to ask politely, have tried to have mature and calm dialogue, have set a boundary or many, but yet we set the bar and watch others systematically "limbo" underneath it, over and over.
Many times, no matter how slow to anger and quick to forgive that we are as human beings, some instances simply will not work out through no lack of trying on our parts. If they did not want to head our warnings, did not notice the signs of dissatisfaction, ignored our requests and or saw kindness as a weakness while overstepping boundaries that were made quite clear over time, detachment can end up being the only resolution.
Some people leave us no choice. Detachment can be the only option. I see it as "clearly we have reached an impasse". I am not to dictate anyones feelings however I will dictate my limits. Staying in bad situations can be a safety issue for ones own physical and or mental health. Things can be bad for us whether they be people, entities, companies, groups, teams, etc. Some things are simply toxic and for reasons of self preservation and to continue to give good things to others, we have to move away from the negative things.
As for me, I have a very high threshold or at least I feel like I do and in fact, it's not a good thing for me personally from time to time. I am someone that remains hopeful and see's things out until the end. The end for me is my very own "saturation point". Just like a sponge can only hold so much water, I can only deal with so much toxicity/unnecessary suffering.
The positive part of that is once I'm done, I'm done. Detachment. I know that I have tried everything and there are no regrets on my end. I sleep well at night.
I like the saying that "where ever you go, there you are". That works for others as well. If I leave a situation, a relationship, an entity, a company, a team, what ever it may be, I know that I did the right thing in cutting my losses and walking away as I see them learning nothing from their behavior. They keep reaching for others to fill that space, fill the gap just to continue the process. It's perpetual, but with other players. I can only be happy that I'm no longer a part of it.
I like the analogy of a life guard. Life guards are taught that when you are going towards someone that is drowning, to be cautious when in an effort to save them. You can call out to them, you can ask them to stop thrashing around, you can extend your legs out while trying to move closer to pull them in and save them with out them drowning you in the process.... if they won't stop thrashing around, they could take the life guard down with them. That saves no one in the end.
Some moments simply require detachment and I have also heard it referred to as "soul removal" and sometimes "gray rocking" can be helpful in situations that you cannot remove yourself from.
Again, many thanks for this incredibly thoughtful forum post!
*high fives* 😊 and *hugs* ❤️
@SparkyGizmo
Thank you for giving your time to read my forum post and respond to it 😊 I totally agree that we can only give our full till a certain extent. Once we're not able to hold it anymore, whatever negative emotions it's gifting us with, it's better to move on than to be there. It definitely doesn't mean that we didn't give our best. we tried but sometimes it's better to give up than to hold it unless it brings an end. There's also this nepali proverb Bhir bata ham phalne goru lai ram ram bhanna sakincha, kaand ma halna sankindaina which translates to We can only say "God be there with it" to the ox jumping from cliff, we can't provide it our shoulder.
@pandanfe
Amazing! I love that proverb! 😊 ❤️ So very well said my sweet friend! ❤️❤️❤️
@pandanfe
Great topic and good tips, thank you for sharing!
I feel, I am someone who takes time in getting attached-attached to people, really taking the time to know someone and investing my emotions but the detachment happens naturally and consequently, when there's a sense of misconduct from the other side, when I find my boundaries and me being disrespected and not valued enough, or simply when it's time to part ways.
Doesn't have to be in a bad way, or parting on bad terms, but you can (and should) always choose you first and detach from anything and anyone not impacting/ benefitting you positively.
The key, I feel, is to watch out for the signs plus to acknowledge the need for the healthy detachment, before the attachment becomes unhealthy, and allow yourself to manage your emotions in a safe manner.
@Sunisshiningandsoareyou
I feel like we may somehow have the same technique of detachment. For me personally, automatic detachment with someone starts when I start to feel toxicity that effects me on psychological state either it be hurting my self-esteem or sth that indirectly makes me insecure of things that is totally normal. I try to have healthy conversation with the party because sometimes I simply may have been misunderstanding and if it still don't workout, detachment plays its role. Detachment could be unhealthy if not acknowledged properly. So practicing healthy detachment is really necessary. Checking out for the true signs to part is really crucial.
Thank you for taking time to share your experiences.
Have a good one 💛