Should I leave him?
I am with this huys who has some anger issue and is a little inconsiderate. Earlier whenever I was not happy about something, like him not making efforts, I would tell him clearly that this is what I want. He would always get angry. Then I somehow made him understand that this behaviour of his is not acceptable and it scares me. Be said he won't do it again and the frequency reduced. After that, if I would bring up something, he would say calmly that ok he will fix it and all.
Then on my birthday I asked him to plan something, but he didn't. I was very disaappointed and went silent. He realised the next day and asked me if I want to go somewhere. We made multiple plans but he himself started complaining like it's too sunny, it's too far. I told him ok whatever you want and then he again reacted very angrily. He started pakcing his stuff but I got to know he didn't have a place to go. So I hid his bag and asked him to sit and talk respectfully and then he can do whatever he wants. But the fight escalated, we both started badmouthing. He was continuously asking for his bag and i didnt give it to him. Then he started throwing stuff and all. I gave him his bag and he left. Later he messaged my flatmate that he loves me and all but whatever he do, it's never enough and is she 16 that she wants balloons kn her birthday. My flatmate told her how he reacted is not acceptable.
I am very unsure about him now. Not sure if I should go back to him or not.
Please help.
Ps - I just turned 30.
@narutoo
It is great you can stand up and speak clearly what you want and how you feel. The anger could be he expects to get his way....his vision of how things should go..... It can be hard to get on the same wavelength with a partner ...... it will most likely happen again .......I feel there are more factors to stay in a relationship or Not.
It is hard when a thing like a birthday is a problem we really want or see a specific idea and if our person does not meet that it is painful. I think I expected a person, I spent so much time with would KNOW what i want/ my likes/ my moods etc.... spouse still is clueless.
It defeats the purpose to have to plan it myself and then act as if he did it. Or worse act as if his plan was want you had wanted. I have said it is very sunny or a bit farther then we thought etc.... a polite excuse to give him a way out or myself ... I wish now I had went through so many things... instead of those excuses.
What is missing is a deeper understanding of things......... So what if you want balloons who cares what age you are?
please hear me out
i was in this same relationship dynamic, where I would express my feelings and thoughts to my other person but they won't understand leave me hanging always sometimes they meet them but other times there's no reply at all, even when I'm sad I don't get any console or anything and when they are sad I'd go over my well being and just try and console then but then they get angry well idk if it's my fault of I'm not getting consoled or if I'm consoling them but in my honest opinion, relationship dynamic must be this, it needs boundaries, it needs space and ofcource it need meeting other needs in a non judgemental ways as possible if one cannot meet others needs they can explicitly say so with matured voice that is very acceptable to me but throwing tantrums around the house and leaving me makes me feel devastated I was in your same position questioning myself because I kept considering their wellness over my well being which is NOT a recommended way to go this escalated for so long and I felt very bad for this but in the end I felt I need to end the relationship, after ending they came running to me but I explained things the best I can and how I meet their needs often and out of care of myself and they don't meet my needs, sure i and then needs a lot of work but this relationship doesn't work ever like this because of it did I know it would be miserable for years, it hurted so much yeah it did, but in the end I'm on the other side now thinking what I done is very fair and I'm taking my well being serious now, now I don't say you to end things with your bf but you can take my story and take care of your well being than being always for the other person because it drains our energy, I'm rooting for you DM me if you need any help regarding this idk if this is allowed but I hope your relationship is fixed soon ❤️🩹🥺
How do I DM you?
@unassumingNest3857
How do I DM you?
i have a listener account too bro lemme know if you want to DM me I'll switch to that account and I'll send you my handles it's don't worry I'm here97 without space , go to find listeners and type my handle and text me bro I'll reply fast , peace
Yes. Can wr connect?
hey I have a listener account to go to find listeners page and search for this handle dontworryimhere97 and hit me up with DM I'll reply as fast as I could, cheers friend
it sounds like you guys aren't compatible and he has some things to sort out before he's ready for a relationship. if you don't feel safe with them, I wouldn't stay with them personally.