Not important
My boyfriend never tells me when any major thing happens in his life, and then because a major thing is happening I can’t be annoyed about it obviously because he’s got bigger things happening- but it feels like being punched in the chest that I’m not a priority in his life. We live together- and yet he doesn’t tell me when MAJOR life thing happens and he’s done it multiple times
i just need to vent about it
Hiya @rogan welcome to the community.
Super valid to feel disappointed and hurt when your partner has repeated the same thing over and again.
I feel, some people, despite being in a relationship, hold their independent thoughts quite up and may not always feel the need to talk things through with someone. A lot of people may not feel like the other person would be interested in knowing things or being more involved. So they probably aren't even aware about their action of not involving the other person, can be percieved as nonchalant behavior and a hurtful/ rude gesture. (Unless they are made aware and they still continue to do the same)
Is your partner like that? evidently more self-reliant or less-expressive about things, in general as well?
Either way, communication and transparency are indeed so important in relationships, and does help the partner feel more valued being made aware of things, big or small about one's life and related.
The fact it bothers you, only shows that you care and would want to be included more in their life. How do you feel about expressing this to your partner, if you haven't already?
I know you mentioned you only wanted to vent, so feel free to skip the questions if you don't wish to answer, but I do hope you receive the support you're seeking here. So feel welcome to browse for our active listeners for a 1-1 chat, anytime!💛
hes a really independent person he doesn’t want to talk anything through- but I feel like to not even tell me at all is crazy!
Every time I’ve tried to say this I say it the wrong way and am snappy, or he is annoyed because he says he doesn’t do that and he always has some excuse for why he hasn’t told me
it’s just hurtful, big important stuff in his life and he doesn’t tell me
Well I dont think he values you or he would tell you - I would save yourself future pain and just leave him now
Hi @rogan. I think it was very cool of you to vent about it here. Everyone needs an outlet.
Have you ever tried respectfully having a conversation about it, you don't have to be snappy and if he as your partner truly wants you to feel valued and prioritized should agree with you to have a conversation.
It isn't silly to put your feelings out there and it isn't silly to want to be involved in someone's and share their burdens with them, I understand that he's an independent man but he's in a relationship now, a two-way pact that requires both partners to feel valued and wanted and if this what your body and heart is telling you it needs then I don't voicing out to him with the solution of you both talking about it would be harmful just try your best and if he doesn't agree then at least y'know you tried and it's not a you-thing but it's a him thing and it might even be a sign that you and him aren't compatible in terms of this specific need of yours that is required for you to feel valued and a priority and that's okay too but just speak your mind and see what happens next.
