I'm very confused about this issue!
Hi, I'm 22 and I recently graduated from university. The thing is there is a friend of mine that we were really close. First of all we just talked but later he acted strangely so I felt he had a crush on me. One day he said you're my best friend and the next day he asked me to be near him after uni. (He works in another city that's why he wanted me to go with him.)
Or for example he called me "my dear" and things like that.
Now I'm tired of his different manners though I like him so much. I don't know what to do... He texts me some times but he has never said anything about his true feeling and now his doing his military service and I'm MSc student in another city.
What do you think I should do? How could know his true feelings? Also it's not common for girls to express their feelings in my culture.
@proactiveDog7157
Hi. The thing that caught my attention first: Why do you want to know his feelings? Maybe that is a good time to ask yourself about your feelings about him?
If he is crush on you, and you want to stop it on friendship level, how would you like it to make him know this, in a gentle but clear and assertive way?
You said you were tired of his behaviours: Maybe he has just been testing you? If you would have reacted instantly against calling you "My Dear", that could be a strong signal for him that you are not interested. His asking you to go with him somewhere could be a strong signal for you that he enjoys and got used to your company.
Sometimes friendship can be a good foundation for a long-lasting relationship, but I believe more often it can put a relationship into a "just friends", aromantic and asexual mode.
Thanks for ur massage but u know I said I'm tired of his behaviours because if he really has crush on me, why doesn't he do anything? Why does he just flirt?
In fact I'd like to have a more serious relationship with him.
@proactiveDog7157
All right, so it seems at least your feelings are clear 😊 and that would be good to make your boyfriend reveal his intentions about you.
Do you think some innocent, non-harmful, well-meant provocative action could help? 😊 I mean nothing that could create jealousy, but something that could require him saying or doing something.
I am really sorry if your boyfriend is like me: shy, undecided, better asking thrice than crossing any boundaries uninvited. Actually at least twice in my life I had to be provoked to hug or kiss someone whom I liked very much, and who, quite surprisingly, liked me.
Do you think him being in the military now, or him and you living in different towns might be the reason he is postponing telling you about his feelings?