Don’t fake it till you make it, REACH OUT

I just found this post from April I had wrote in a group on *** I created. I wanted to share with all of you as well❤️

(Of course the photos won’t post on here, but you get the point)

✨about to get really raw with you guys for a minute, because this is a subject more than half of people can relate to but won’t talk about✨

When I tell you there’s more days than not that I feel like my head is barely above water, that my mind is my worst enemy, that I literally cannot breathe to the point I don’t understand how I’m gonna live everyday in this state of mind.. it’s hard. My whole life I’ve always been the goofball.. the ditzy, silly, wild girl that people either loved or thought of me as “too much”

It was a mask I wore like makeup. Behind that mask was a scared, hurt, angry little girl. 

Im diagnosed with bipolar disorder (manic depression) severe anxiety, PTSD, i deal with trauma that runs from my childhood up to my adult life, and am a recovering drug addict. 

To whoever has read this far down & is thinking this is too much personal information to share publicly & wondering what the point is behind this post, you’re right it is a lot. More than most people might read. The purpose of this post is for those who have a voice, but are silently struggling because they are made to feel as if nobody is listening. To those who have been made to feel as if what they are going through & how they feel is unimportant because what someone else is going through is “worse”.. to those who have been saying “I’m fine” when they are screaming on the inside. To the ones that still have nightmares about what happened & to the ones that won’t let anyone know the real person inside because of the scars & damage from someone else. 

You’re not alone. You’re not crazy. 

I’m not a miserable person. To be so self aware & have such an open mind to the world, to be the most positive, full of life person yet feel so fearful, hopeless, & deeply dark all at once in one body is physically and mentally painful. But these pictures i decided to share from this morning are so beautiful to me. This was the first time in a long time I felt absolutely 100% at peace & I was just me. Simply being. My thoughts were calm. I felt so alive & like a person, not in a category of all the endless emotions I feel at war with on a daily basis. 

I hope this post reaches the right person. If you know, you know. ❤️ 

I hope you find your way to speak up & find an outlet that works for you.