Can someone help me?
Hy guys,
I haven't posted any threads before so please forgive me for any mistakaes.
I have feelings for my bestfriend but never had the courage to express it for two reasons, 1. What would be his feelings 2. My family, they are very much against all these and I know myself that I won't be able to go against them. So I decided to move on but my bestfriend himself expressed his feelings but I'm not able to completely accept this as I know the reality of my family. I don't want to give him any hopes and hurt him. He didn't ask me anything regarding this and wants me to study as we have our finals coming up but I'm not able to.
I'm too distracted on everything right now he feels that he is responsible for the situation and blames himself which eventually leads us to fight everytime.
I don't know what to do now. I'm trying to study but not able to and I can't even explain thid to my family as they are joint family with all the old traditions. I can't even think of going against my mom because she is the only one for me after my father's death.
Even though being in a joint family I never had the feeling of family with anyone except my mom but she values each and everyone which I can't say no.
I'm very much struck and have no idea. At present I just want to study and complete my finals.
@KrazyHeart
I know this must be so hard, especially when you know that your family aren't going to accept what you want to do, but believe me everything deserve an attempt, this us your life and not their lives so make sure to live a life without regrets. For now I think you better try to clear your head and focus on your finals.
I hope everything goes well, stay strong!
@sebb228
Thank you for your words. I'm trying to concentrate on my exams leaving other things. I won't say that I have succeeded in it, but I'm better than before I guess.
Good luck! You've got thisđź’“
Hey, thank you for sharing this I know what it’s like to have feelings for someone and worry that my family may not accept you’re allowed to feel the way you do and your feelings are valid now that you know that your best friend feels the same way as you,
I understand that your finals are important, but as @Sebb228 said, this is your life and you deserve to live your life
i know it’s not easy sometimes though
@embraeycingme1
Thank you!! Before coming here I always used to feel that I'm the only one being miserable always and overthink alot about. But now after coming here and reading other people struggles and how they are trying to overcome those things gives me chance to see the positive side.
I just hope that everything goes well in my life without hurting my loved ones.
You’re welcome! I think that’s why it’s awesome to have sites where you can meet and talk with a lot of people because someone’s bound to come across someone else who is experiencing something similar to them
I understand not wanting to hurt your loved ones, but sometimes being yourself and doing what you want/need to do might hurt someone and if someone isn’t hurting someone and they’re still hurt, that’s on them not the person who’s living their life
I think my identity has hurt my parents in the past, but I was hurting myself and I had to do what I needed to do in order to be okay. I understand that not everyone has support or is able to do some things , but I still think a lot of people deserve to be happy
đź’–
I'm sorry you have face all those struggles.
On seeing these things it's our loved ones who has the utmost power to hurt us and sadly alot of people can't overcome that.
I hope everyone receives their deserved happiness.
@KrazyHeart
It sounds like you're in a complex and challenging situation. Here are a few steps you might consider taking:
1. **Focus on Studies**: Since your exams are important, try your best to focus on your studies for now. It's okay to set your feelings aside temporarily to meet your academic goals.
2. **Communication with Friend**: Have an honest conversation with your best friend. Let him know that you're dealing with family pressures and that you value your friendship greatly. Explain that it's not about him, but about your personal situation.
3. **Seek Support**: If you're feeling overwhelmed, it might be helpful to talk to a mental health professional, like a therapist or counselor, who can provide guidance and strategies to manage your emotions and navigate challenging situations.
4. **Respect for Your Feelings**: It's okay to have your own feelings and priorities. Don't blame yourself for the situation. You're making decisions based on what you believe is best for you and your family.
5. **Long-Term Considerations**: While family expectations are important, ultimately your happiness and well-being matter. As you move forward, you might want to explore ways to balance your family's expectations with your own needs and desires.
6. **Timing**: Decisions about relationships and expressing feelings can be complex. If and when you decide to address your feelings with your best friend, consider the right time and setting for that conversation.
Remember, you have the right to prioritize your own well-being and happiness. It might be challenging, but taking things one step at a time and seeking support can help you navigate these difficult circumstances.
I agree with the point-wise process @justJack2001 shared above.
Additionally, I was recently suggested to watch the movie Rocky and Rani on this issue #AliaBhattAliaBhattAliaBhatt
You are able to see what won't work in your case but you still haven't shared a single point that might be in your favor.. which is where one should direct their attention when trying to achieve something or build a future. It could be as simple as not having younger siblings - which is one reason people discourage love marriages. Or the fact that you at least have some idea of the person you are falling for, most people fall first and get an idea of the person much later.
At least, communicate your feelings and story to your best friend so that he isn't entirely in the dark here and the friendship isn't lost amidst that darkness. In this way, you can get another head involved in working towards the solution instead of you doing it alone.