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Bonds with Stranger

VsPeaK2 May 26th, 2023

How come we get comfortable with strangers, and not with someone we are close too..

6
toughTiger6481 May 26th, 2023

@VsPeaK2

Partly because we are new to strangers we do not show all our baggage........... so it is easy to bond and get along.... we can even pretend we are someone different then we are

our loved ones have scars from past skirmishes and remember items we most likely want to forget...they have a higher threshold for things ..... harder to pretend with those who KNOW US

1 reply
VsPeaK2 OP May 27th, 2023

Is it fine to pretend, by being someone else

And if yes then, on that basis, is it fine to start a new bond, by Pretendness

I am keen to know..

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communicativePrune3211 June 10th, 2023

@VsPeaK2 this resonates. I feel lonely so I go out to stroes, such as coffee shops, gyms, restaurants, and I find that I am able to get along with and connect with the people around me.At home, it is a struggle. With my friends, it is a struggle. I think it may be a part of growing up and growing pains and outgrowing friend. As a result, I am looking to meet new friends and mroe attracted to strangers than friends and fmaily. It is a strange coincidence how this is all happening.

Jaeteuk June 17th, 2023

With strangers, they aren't able to judge us and criticize us. Even if they do, they only know you from the surface, so it doesn't hurt as much. With loved ones, because they know who you are like, inside-out, that way, they can easily judge and criticize us, and we will feel more hurt.

I get this question a lot from my parents. Asking why I can reveal so much about myself to strangers (like members here in 7 Cups, and we'll never meet in person), and yet, I'll always hesitate to express myself within the family? Although I give them the above reason, they still don't understand.

@VsPeaK2

lovingBirch1037 June 28th, 2023

@VsPeaK2 Because strangers are blank canvases which hold no prejudice with you. When people already know you, most of the time, how they perceive you is shaped by some preconceptions which hinders us from showing who we truly are for fears of being judged wrongly.

Gettingbettertoday June 28th, 2023

@VsPeaK2

I am unfamiliar with what you are talking about. I am my most uncomfortable around strangers. Not that people I know don't cause me distress it is just a magnitude less.