Being used n people Leaving you…..

I have something very important to speak about and I wanted to tell you because well I don’t have friends I don’t have company. Everything is lonely and I need to talk about this somewhere you know so if you’re a giver like me and you just give too much and you end up with nothing at all *** it’s just not this. I always was like thinking that this is just a confidence and all I have is like being lonely and scared and Everything on my own and of course it’s not fair to always like give yourself back what other student you know because you never deserve it but let me tell you this is the weekend and I’m 22 and this is the first weekend when I did learned that I was being used so I realize like everything that is about giving too much being open trusting and friendly you can just really be yourself if you know that this is not working like be a better version of yourself and try to be cautious and I’ve have been told like so much. You know to protect yourself because I don’t really have any limits when it comes to giving my only boundaries worse if people were to attack me badly you know so I was thinking that if I have constant judgment of family that if I put my hopes out to the world, I would find what I want, but that was not it because the people if they just all see like my energy positivity and everything and basically they took it from me they feed off and basically they sucked it out of me because it’s been so many people that in the beginning I never I never viewed a mass wrong people. You know I see everybody has good person deserving of the same and like we should be kind it can change someone’s day and whether this is stranger or a family member I always end up giving And being generous way too much then I’m empty and there’s like nobody that can help me or stand by me because I realize that those people leave me they have told me and this is what hurts so much but here I want to say and please ignore that day with the flower it’s I’m using speech recognition because this is so hard to write But I realize that you can’t always give too much and not just that but I was just thinking that I was being confident because you give so much so like you are not afraid to be with people and all of that but this they took me for granted and they left me after sometime when they got what they want or when they got bored, I mean, I just learned what they were thinking or what it’s all means that when people suddenly goes to you or they like disappear suddenly they become busy or something and he wondering why when everything first of all it was like all right the start or about a month or a few weeks it really lasted so I couldn’t tell And I was never told this. Nobody told me this so I never know that this is not good for me and it can be harmful even since even when I have good intentions and I’m a good person and I see people as being good if they don’t harm me, they are not good because I feel like abandonment is a form of abuse because basically One day they finally leave you. You know when it’s gone so I just want to say that if you feel the same if you feel alone and if you also feel hurt and if you feel like there is like no other way, like you just feel a hopeless or lifeless, I feel like an empty person without energy. I feel like stabbing to this reality just to know that I was being used so many times if you have the same egg just like no the this paining you must let it hurt. I can do much about it. It still hurts me. It is so hard to process because I have anxiety. I have anger. I’m like what happened you know all this time and it was with every person that I would go giving too much gift their care attention everything just to earn some of theirs, but I realized that this hope I was putting for to them was just reflection of my own and they never really fight for me so please don’t fight for anyone and you must know who deserves it and who doesn’t I’m here just preaching, but I just learned this weekend but I’m glad I did because if it was too late if I continue just a few more years, I don’t know what I would end because it told detrimental to my own mental state that it’s so hard but in the beginning, I wasn’t feeling drained. I was just constantly like I like I’m this friendly person so like I go out there and you know, be friends and mean there’s people like share something together and be happy But suddenly where it doesn’t work this way and once people see that you give as much they can take it and teach quickly and use you without you being aware I wasn’t aware at all because you know I don’t have any limit when it came to giving to me. This was normal but to other people you know what happens So I’m just saying that I’m just so sad. This is so hard to be alone and you have to be mentally strong even now I can trust too much. I must count on myself and my heel on my own you know to restore and repair everything they took from me, which is very hard, but I will never make a mistake mistakes again I will never repeat this patterns and I actually have to put less and I’m now like Now. I’m just thinking like oh so I don’t really have to put so much anywhere like I have been trying this my whole life so you know this is just so hard, but you got to accept the pain and really move on and be the better you and stop trying too hard and too much when I see other people that are in my shoes they try too much. They stress over it because you know for other people I’m like just don’t because The right people I mean, let people come to you and let’s see if they are worthy and deserving of your kindness and everything you have to offer, but don’t try too hard because it’s not worth to try this hard. Will you end up like me and I never wish this to anyone but I hope those people will be aware of the pain they have cost me and anybody else who is this as much giving and Was like this in this world