I need help - a bit desperate vent and a quest for a brighter day.
Hello, I'm an old member of the group but I'm not regularly active.
I just turned 30 recently, and It's hitting hard. I feel mentally crippled a lot of the time lately. I used to be the driver of my life but now I don't feel like I'm in control at all. I have been financially on my parents over the past 9 months, which sucks so bad. I feel ashamed about myself.
And I've been picking up smoking habits over the past few months. I've gained 33 pounds over the past few years since covid and it sucks.
Today I'm trying to quit smoking and it's feeling miserable, I feel like a zombie in a stupid body. But enough negativity. At least i've tried to go for a long walk and resisting the temptation as much as I can.
I'm trying to process the next steps of my life, i went through this kinda depressive cycle before and I found the light at the end of the tunnel, maybe right now is just another tunnel.
I need to work around my chemical balance in the brain during nicotine quitting. it feels horrible.
an AI generated photo with my prompt "dopamine hits" - i hope to have a pet but taking care of them could be a pain...
@energeticWest1129
hey there! I’m sorry to know its been a rough few months, it seems like you’ve been under a lot of pressure and sounds like your brain has been hard on you for struggling as well
im glad your family can support you financially even if you would rather not need it, but im sure you will try to gain back the financial independence as soon as you can and its okie to accept that support for now when you need it💜
its also a big and great step that you are trying to quite the smoking, its not easy and its a process for sure but you’ve taken the first step and that definitely worth something! A long walk sounds like a good idea to help with that
how is it going so far?
Also i love the fact you can notice while this does feel very heavy now its not always gonna be like that! You have been in that dark tunnel and made it out before im sure you can do it again!
And as a pet owner, i can admit it is a lot of work and trouble sometimes, but if you figure its something You are ready to handle at any point its indeed very rewarding too!
Also i dont know what that animal is in the pic but it’s definitely way too cute omg😭 i can certainly say im glad ai exists haha
looking forward to hearing more from you and how you are doing!
I feel like once I can take better care of myself, having a pet would be quite an amazing experience.
I’ve gone almost one week without cigarettes, i did had one relapse 10 days ago , and then back with quitting cold turkey again.
recently I’ve been meeting with old distant relatives which should normally been fun but it’s stressful for me because our family dynamics is complicated by benefits and pride instead of care and kindness. It’s almost like growing up in a 🐅 tigers den .
thank you for reaching out, I’m grateful for the support.
@energeticWest1129
Very much agreed on that, pets are indeed such little balls of unlimited love and joy
If you do ever get one and if you were still on cups by then i would love to see a pic haha
A week is awesome! Keep it up! Ill be rooting for you! Relapses do happen and are a part of the journey, what matters most is to not let them discourage you from getting back on your route, and to remember the progress so far is not “undone”
And it makes sense why it wouldnt feel quite fun or comfortable to be in that kinda atmosphere always feeling like you need to be watching yourself or acting within certain expectations to be deemed worthy
i guess i can only wish you luck survivng it?
And you are very welcome ^^
I would love to get updates from you and get to know you more
please remember you are always welcome to reach out to me either here or in pms if you ever need a friend or someone to talk to
@energeticWest1129 hello ❤ sorry your struggling right now 🙁 mental health can strike at any moment, it's never easy. And don't feel bad at getting help from your parents, your lucky you have people who love you and you can always count on ❤❤ ok so you had a few bad years, with covid and everything. But you got the right attitude, the world is yours to take, gives you a giant tiny hug ❤❤ remember it's ok to fall ❤
