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Leaving toxic friends (ur thoughts?)

by livbinny

11 hours ago

Never enough and sad

by Juul

14 hours ago

...See more a rant bcs it’s just a lot I’m pretty sad that what I do is never enough for my parents. Even though I do well in uni my mom always doubts me. She continuously tells me to make sure to finish my studies even though I’ve never given her any indication of wanting to quit. She tells me to do things ahead of time even though I literally can’t because I can’t do work before I’ve had the classes. She does not understand how the system works yet continuously has things to say. Now that I’ve been able to use other credits for my minor, meaning I have some extra time this semester which I want to use to work more hours so I can take it easy while I have my thesis, she tells me to just take extra courses even though this won’t add anything to my degree. She never went to university and doesn’t get how it works, yet continues to comment on it. I feel like, whatever I achieve, it won’t be enough for her and she’ll always tell me to work harder and do better. I’m doing a lot. I follow a full time study, I work like 20 hours a week, I live with my boyfriend and take care of our home and pets together. Yet none of this seems to matter to her. Then there’s my dad who contributed nothing to my life other than trauma. This man had the nerve to tell me how to look for jobs after my studies (even though I have like 1,5 years left??) and what to do even though he had no part in raising me and also did not attend university so he doesn’t know how that sh*t works. he also refuses to contribute to my studies (he and my mom saved money for my studies). For context, he told me he feels bad about being such a sh*t dad and had a cry over it yet he can’t even contribute to me financially (and yes he has the money for it) because of no reason apparently ? This is an issue between my parents but they like to make it my problem. My relationship with both of them has been rocky. My mom does not know how to deal with feelings at all and lacks empathy. She neglected me and my sibling emotionally which strained our relationship. My dad is just a big a-hole who dumped us to live with his new girlfriend and her kids. He just neglected us overall and then has the nerve to cry about being a sh*t dad and wanting to do better, but not showing any changes in his actions. I’m doing well at school, at work, in my relationships, and generally in life, and I’m just really sad neither of my parents seem to realise this and don’t appreciate me.

Hey friends……

by livbinny

18 hours ago

When all u need is comfort (no fixing!!)

by livbinny

22 hours ago

Any advice on how to thread this friendship?

by Dreee

1 day ago

...See more Hi, I'm a 20 year old college student who struggles with low self esteem, people pleasing tendencies and speaking up for myself. I decided I'm going to be better, to speak my mind, to Change and place boundaries. It's been hard, sometimes I stammer when I try to talk to someone about how I didn't like what they did and if they wouldn't do it again, it's really been uncomfortable to voice my mind or to stop people pleasing like now when I'm in a conversation with people and there's silence, I don't try to fill up the silence and although it's uncomfortable because it feels like I failed to keep the conversation going I still do it either way. I'm reading a book on low self esteem and I'm trying to accept the fact that doing much things for people won't get you to be loved by them and so I'm trying to accept being lonely. It's been hard to communicate and it's even harder to say no, I haven't been able to fully turn someone down yet but now I can say no to things like "no, I can't lend you my pen" or "no I can't play this game with you" and i know it might sound insignificant but I'd like to believe there's a difference, I'd like to believe I'm changing. Where was I getting to with this? Oh yes, so I have this friend/roommate and I don't like how she speaks to me like for example I tried something by stop wearing my signature cloth and she told me that it was bad and why did I try that? And at first I didn't think about it much although her words pained me, my other roommates even told her that she was being silly and one of my roommates told me I need to put some distance between I and her because she talks without filters and has no boundaries. Sometimes she'd speak for me when talking to people when people ask me to stand up for myself and she'd reply with "she can't, it's not just her" I understand that I do blabber a lot to her about my problems and life and what not but sometimes what she says hurts and she's always acting like she knows me best and speaks for me like it's my thoughts and I never really saw it as a problem but when she says those things, it feels like I'm not changing. I'm sorry if this is long but I feel bad and I just wanted an outlet coz no one ever gets it. I don't want to hate her because she can be a good friend when I need but her words cut me into pieces and I think I'm having resentment and now I'm doubting myself if I can change or even tell her how I feel about this ... Sigh.

Managing Emotions in Relationships

by deephealer1111

2 days ago

General Sadness of the State of the World

by AutumnHarvest

2 days ago

...See more Hi, I'm a 24f and I just graduated university in May and have been living with my parents looking for apartments in a new city. I'm am lucky to have some privileges as a white, middle class girl and I am incredibly thankful for that. But I'm also incredibly saddened by the state of the world constantly, be it the environmental state, the economic state, and all the other isms, and systems of oppression. To take a moment to be a little selfish, I'm seeing it heavily as I try to find an apartment in the city. I am feeling sad and hopeless as I look because it feels like my standards are way too high - but to me, they feel like basic things that people should have - like a stove, enough space to have more than just a bed and desk, and a little natural light for my plants. But as I look, I'm coming across many places outside of my budget that lack even these basic things. I understand your 20s are about "roughing it" but, with the state of the world, the increasing basic living costs and the fact that the future is completely uncertain due to climate change and capitalism - I'm finding it incredibly hard to feel like I'll even be able to live the way I want in the future. It doesn't help that I'm constantly told by my parents and other generations that they paid for their entire education themselves or had to work 3 jobs to afford a house, etc. I know there really isn't any solutions to this problem and will have to lower my standards for housing and living, but after working so hard in high school and university and being promised I'm working towards something - I'm burnt out and it feels like I'm not gaining any of the rewards of my hard work. Maybe I've just thrown myself a huge pity party, but thank you for listening none the less. For others who struggle with these feelings as well, what do you do to give yourself more hope and stop feeling like everything sucks? Thank you for listening.

Being used n people Leaving you…..

by livbinny

2 days ago

...See more I have something very important to speak about and I wanted to tell you because well I don’t have friends I don’t have company. Everything is lonely and I need to talk about this somewhere you know so if you’re a giver like me and you just give too much and you end up with nothing at all *** it’s just not this. I always was like thinking that this is just a confidence and all I have is like being lonely and scared and Everything on my own and of course it’s not fair to always like give yourself back what other student you know because you never deserve it but let me tell you this is the weekend and I’m 22 and this is the first weekend when I did learned that I was being used so I realize like everything that is about giving too much being open trusting and friendly you can just really be yourself if you know that this is not working like be a better version of yourself and try to be cautious and I’ve have been told like so much. You know to protect yourself because I don’t really have any limits when it comes to giving my only boundaries worse if people were to attack me badly you know so I was thinking that if I have constant judgment of family that if I put my hopes out to the world, I would find what I want, but that was not it because the people if they just all see like my energy positivity and everything and basically they took it from me they feed off and basically they sucked it out of me because it’s been so many people that in the beginning I never I never viewed a mass wrong people. You know I see everybody has good person deserving of the same and like we should be kind it can change someone’s day and whether this is stranger or a family member I always end up giving And being generous way too much then I’m empty and there’s like nobody that can help me or stand by me because I realize that those people leave me they have told me and this is what hurts so much but here I want to say and please ignore that day with the flower it’s I’m using speech recognition because this is so hard to write But I realize that you can’t always give too much and not just that but I was just thinking that I was being confident because you give so much so like you are not afraid to be with people and all of that but this they took me for granted and they left me after sometime when they got what they want or when they got bored, I mean, I just learned what they were thinking or what it’s all means that when people suddenly goes to you or they like disappear suddenly they become busy or something and he wondering why when everything first of all it was like all right the start or about a month or a few weeks it really lasted so I couldn’t tell And I was never told this. Nobody told me this so I never know that this is not good for me and it can be harmful even since even when I have good intentions and I’m a good person and I see people as being good if they don’t harm me, they are not good because I feel like abandonment is a form of abuse because basically One day they finally leave you. You know when it’s gone so I just want to say that if you feel the same if you feel alone and if you also feel hurt and if you feel like there is like no other way, like you just feel a hopeless or lifeless, I feel like an empty person without energy. I feel like stabbing to this reality just to know that I was being used so many times if you have the same egg just like no the this paining you must let it hurt. I can do much about it. It still hurts me. It is so hard to process because I have anxiety. I have anger. I’m like what happened you know all this time and it was with every person that I would go giving too much gift their care attention everything just to earn some of theirs, but I realized that this hope I was putting for to them was just reflection of my own and they never really fight for me so please don’t fight for anyone and you must know who deserves it and who doesn’t I’m here just preaching, but I just learned this weekend but I’m glad I did because if it was too late if I continue just a few more years, I don’t know what I would end because it told detrimental to my own mental state that it’s so hard but in the beginning, I wasn’t feeling drained. I was just constantly like I like I’m this friendly person so like I go out there and you know, be friends and mean there’s people like share something together and be happy But suddenly where it doesn’t work this way and once people see that you give as much they can take it and teach quickly and use you without you being aware I wasn’t aware at all because you know I don’t have any limit when it came to giving to me. This was normal but to other people you know what happens So I’m just saying that I’m just so sad. This is so hard to be alone and you have to be mentally strong even now I can trust too much. I must count on myself and my heel on my own you know to restore and repair everything they took from me, which is very hard, but I will never make a mistake mistakes again I will never repeat this patterns and I actually have to put less and I’m now like Now. I’m just thinking like oh so I don’t really have to put so much anywhere like I have been trying this my whole life so you know this is just so hard, but you got to accept the pain and really move on and be the better you and stop trying too hard and too much when I see other people that are in my shoes they try too much. They stress over it because you know for other people I’m like just don’t because The right people I mean, let people come to you and let’s see if they are worthy and deserving of your kindness and everything you have to offer, but don’t try too hard because it’s not worth to try this hard. Will you end up like me and I never wish this to anyone but I hope those people will be aware of the pain they have cost me and anybody else who is this as much giving and Was like this in this world

apology

by Akash00722

2 days ago

How to deal with adulthood and overcoming trauma with no help?

by kindComputer4605

2 days ago

I'm so tired

by Lady6ug

2 days ago

Tensed

by sincereDime8851

2 days ago

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Considering Therapy?

@ilovemycat16

@Heretohelp45

@littleacorn22

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@Ninjajackfruit001

@helloBeing219

@Montaser123

@deephealer1111

@screwnail

@KiyKiy16

@kindComputer4605

@Afellowtraveler

@Rheaxoxo

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