The Mating Intelligence Scale was created for a Psychology Today article. There are two versions, one for heterosexual males and one for heterosexual females. Each test is designed to provide a rough guide to your relationship effectiveness — not a definitive statement about individual character.

Simply answer True or False for each of the 24 items under the test that pertains to you. Scroll to the end for scoring — and note that however you score, mating intelligence is a malleable dimension of human psychology!

You’ll find the Mating Intelligence Scale along with a scoring key and a breakdown of which items go with which facets of mating intelligence, below. Have fun!

For men

  1. I think most women just like me as a friend.

  2. I have slept with many beautiful women.

  3. I’m pretty good at knowing if a woman is attracted to me.

  4. I’m not the best at taking care of kids.

  5. I’m good at saying the right things to women I flirt with.

  6. I haven’t had as many sexual partners compared with other guys I know (who are my age).

  7. I have a difficult time expressing complex ideas to others.

  8. I am good at picking up signals of interest from women.

  9. I’m definitely near the top of the status totem pole in my social circles.

  10. I doubt that I’ll ever be a huge financial success.

  11. If I wanted to, I could convince a woman that I’m a prince from some little-known European country.

  12. Honestly, I don’t get women at all!

  13. Women tend to flirt with me pretty regularly.

  14. If a woman doesn’t seem interested in me, I figure she doesn’t know what she’s missing!

  15. Women find me attractive.

  16. I’ve dated many intelligent women.

  17. People tell me that I have a great sense of humor.

  18. When I lie to women, I always get caught!

  19. I am usually wrong about who is interested in me romantically.

  20. It’s hard for me to get women to see my virtues.

  21. At parties, I tend to tell stories that catch the attention of women.

  22. I’m not very talented in the arts.

  23. I can attract women, but they rarely end up interested in me sexually.

  24. When a woman smiles at me, I assume she’s just being friendly.

For women

  1. I can tell when a man is being genuine and sincere in his affections toward me.

  2. I doubt I could ever pull off cheating on my beau.

  3. I look younger than most women my age.

  4. When a guy doesn’t seem interested in me, I take it personally and assume something is wrong with me.

  5. Good-looking guys never seem into me.

  6. I have a sense of style and wear clothes that make me look sexy.

  7. I attract many wealthy, successful men.

  8. Honestly, I don’t think I understand men at all!

  9. With me, a guy gets what he sees— no pretenses here.

  10. If I wanted to make my current guy jealous, I could easily get the attention of other guys.

  11. Men don’t tend to be interested in my mind.

  12. I’m more creative than most people.

  13. I hardly ever know when a guy likes me romantically.

  14. I laugh a lot at men’s jokes.

  15. If a guy doesn’t want to date me, I figure he doesn’t know what he’s missing!

  16. I am not very artistic.

  17. My current beau spends a lot of money on material items for me (such as jewelry).

  18. I am usually right on the money about a man’s intentions toward me.

  19. I don’t have a great body compared with other women I know.

  20. Intelligent guys never seem interested in dating me.

  21. I believe that most men are more interested in long-term relationships than they’re given credit for.

  22. Most guys who are nice to me are just trying to get into my pants.

  23. When it comes down to it, I think most men want to get married and have children.

  24. If I have sex with a man too soon, I know he will leave me.

How to tally your Mating Intelligence score

For males:

Give yourself one point for every T answer to questions 2, 3, 5, 8, 9, 11, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, and 21. Add one point for every F answer to items 1, 4, 6, 7, 10, 12, 18, 19, 20, 22, 23, and 24.

For females:

Give yourself one point for every T answer to questions 1, 3, 6, 7, 10, 12, 14, 15, 17, 18, 22, and 24. Add one point for every F answer to items 2, 4, 5, 8, 9, 11, 13, 16, 19, 20, 21, and 23.

Based on the study O’Brien et al. (2010), male scores tend to average about 12.3, whereas the female average is about 10.5. There is a lot of variability in scores within each sex.

Boldfaced Items are “reversed” — thought about as reflecting “low mating intelligence.”

For more on the science behind romantic relationships, read Mating Intelligence Unleashed, by Glenn Geher, PhD and Scott Barry Kaufman, PhD.

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