Valentine's day is here! If you're not in relationship, this can bring up a lot of fear, loneliness and sadness. It can also trigger past memories of relationships that have ended. February 14th doesn't have to be a total bummer. Here are the top five tips that I share with my online therapy clients on 7 Cups to help them manage their feelings on Valentine's day:
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Love is Universal.
Valentine's day (if it's a holiday you choose to acknowledge) isn't just about being in a couple. It's about the celebration of love: universal love and the love we feel towards friends, pets and family members. Some ways to celebrate love:
Send a card or flowers to someone in your life who makes you feel special.
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Buy your best friend some candy hearts.
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Buy flowers to have in your room to bring in some loving vibes .
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Give your dog a heart shaped treat and an extra belly rub.
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Spread positive, loving messages on social media.
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Smile at a stranger on the street.
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♥Are you ready for love, really?
A surefire way to attract an unhealthy partner is through the emotions of desperation and loneliness. If you're feeling down or like you ‘just don't want to be alone,' it's possible to find yourself in an unhealthy relationship or connecting with a past partner who wasn't good for you. You've heard it many times before because it's important to put into action: take care of and love yourself first. When you keep your side of the street clean, you're creating a path for someone to walk with, hand-in-hand.
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If you're ready and looking for love…
Valentine's day is the perfect day to set intentions for the partner who you're looking to bring into your life. I encourage my clients to create a list in their journal or 7 cups therapy chat room with all of the traits they're looking for. Perhaps you want someone who understands what it's like to struggle with anxiety? Maybe you're looking for a partner who also plays World of Warcraft, or someone who looks at you like your magic? Create a full list and be unapologetic about the things you add to it. Consider lighting a candle in honor of the special person who is living their own life and finding their way to you, just as you are finding your way to them. Trust that they will show up at the exact right moment for you.
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Keep it in perspective.
Valentine's day, as it is known now, is mostly a construct of consumerism. So many of the ads you see and messages on social media can make you feel lonely and like you're supposed to be in a couple. The truth? It's just another day. Many happy couples choose not to honor the holiday due to the fact that it's consumer-driven and focuses on the fact that there is one day to express love more than other days. When you think about it like this, it seems awfully silly, doesn't it? You don't have to hate Valentine's day to not participate in it, either. Just remind yourself that tomorrow is February 15th and move on.
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Begin a love affair with yourself.
Sometimes being in a relationship, even a healthy and supportive one, can be tedious. It's fun to have time in your life to be single, selfish and in love with you. Take a long bath, eat your favorite meal, watch exactly what you want to, journal to get to know your own thoughts. If you don't feel like spending time alone then connect with other single friends who are positive and uplifting. Everything happens for a reason. If you find yourself single right now it means you're meant to have time to yourself to work on you and have fun on your own. Enjoy it!
Written By: Haley Night
Haley Neidich has been a psychotherapist for over 8 years, working exclusively with clients online. She focuses on helping individuals with anxiety and those who are going through a time of transition in their lives. Haley tends to focus on creative, eclectic and spiritual approaches in her work with clients to help them feel heard, supported and empower them to learn new patterns of being. Haley believes in the online therapy process having worked with hundreds of clients from all around the world. If you'd like to work with Haley on 7 cups she is currently accepting new patients and would love to talk with you.
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