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unbrokenhearts
279 M Embraced 2
PathStep 3 Compassion hearts17 Forum posts10 Forum upvotes31 Current upvotes31 Age GroupAdult Last activeSeptember, 2018 Member sinceOctober 19, 2015
Recent forum posts
Sex and Guilt TW sexual abuse
Relationship Stress / by unbrokenhearts
Last post
 September 6th, 2018
...See more So when I was growing up I was taken advantage of sexually for about a decade. I then was sexually assaulted at age 18. I have a serious bf now who is totally amazing and I feel so safe with. I apparently have an insanely high sex drive so sometimes he'll tease me about it. I think it's because obviously it feels good and good makes the bad feelings go away for a bit. It's weird because as much as I love sex with him I find the idea of intimacy overwhelming and usually have to drink beforehand and feel insanely guilty afterwards like I've done something wrong by doing what normal people naturally do with someone they love and trust in that manner. Is this something anyone else struggles with? I feel really alone in this and like i may never be able to connect to someone in this way without feeling guilty.
Accepting weight gain in recovery
Eating Disorder Support / by unbrokenhearts
Last post
 October 23rd, 2018
...See more I know that I was sick and much too thin but I also felt safer when there was less of me. It made me feel like I could hide and go unnoticed. The last few months I have been working to get myself back to a healthy weight. The problem is everytime someone tells me how amazing and healthy I look I feel like I've failed. The more weight I gain for my body's health it feels like my brain is struggling more than ever. I don't know how to be me without anorexia, but I also know living with it any longer is starting to approach a point where it could be a death sentence. Recovery needs to happen just my mind is fighting it so hard even though logically I know the number on the scale is still not at my healthy weight goal. Does anyone have tips on how to make peace with recovery weight gain?
I feel like relapsing
Addiction Support / by unbrokenhearts
Last post
 March 27th, 2019
...See more I have the strongest urge to relapse back to old habits. I am also working currently in Addictions so relapse means I lose everything. But I'm also in so much pain that I can't think of how else to cope that will make it go away. I got hooked on uppers when I was 17. Started out thinking ecstasy would be fun and harmless, started using coke at parties casually and before I knew it I was using meth alone in my room because I needed it. It wasn't fun and games anymore and led to me actually almost overdosing on fentanyl. I worked my way through recovery, got clean and became a role model for others. I'm 22 and I was 19 when I last used. I went through a trauma recently and now all I can think about is getting high. It feels like when you haven't eaten in days and someone shows up with you're favourite meal. I've wiped my phone so I don't have dealers numbers but I can't get these feelings to pass. How do you cope with urges to use?
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