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thoughtfulCake6126
290 M Embraced 2
PathStep 20 Compassion hearts9 Forum posts11 Forum upvotes13 Current upvotes13 Age GroupAdult Last activeJune, 2017 Member sinceFebruary 12, 2017
Recent forum posts
Feeling Lost- Warning for Sexual Abuse
Trauma Support / by thoughtfulCake6126
Last post
 March 23rd, 2017
...See more Before I start, I should say that I've been seeing a therapist for a month now and it's been baby steps to learn how to cope with PTSD. It's been successful until recently and I'll explain why soon enough. So... I was abused in my last relationship. My ex was anything but stellar. He used to get into arguments with me, claiming they were debates, force me into liking his interests to the point he made me question my own religious faith, and at the height of it forced me into a lot of sexual things. Worst was when he basically walked in and forced his way into showering with me, which I'd rather not discuss the details of what happened at this time. I put all of that in the back of mind because years ago I thought that was normal with only the vague notions that something was wrong. I'm in a new relationship now but progressively I kept finding myself feeling wrong or worst, have random anxiety attacks. It wasn't until it dawned on me later on that rape is not just viginal intercourse that I realized what had happened before. Even worst, I noticed how it was effecting my current relationship. All of that is something I'm struggling with currently. But worst of all is I've told this to my mom, she has the understanding this is effecting me yet she'll still bring up jokes and comments about my current bf and I being lewd together. I've tried grounding myself and changing the subject, I've tried point blank telling her that it makes me uncomfortable too. But time and time again, she does the same thing despite what I've told her. I don't know what to do anymore and each time it happens, I feel less of a person inside. She keeps insinuating that going to therapy would also mean I get better and eventually will be sexual again. But I've posed the possibility that won't be the case and she gets... I don't know weirdly defensive before saying "I'm sorry I've upset you." I don't understand why sexual intercourse is a necessary part of life. I don't understand why she keeps bringing this up. I'm honestly lost on what to do anymore. It feels like now I'm screaming in a foreign language she can't possibly understand. But if I tell her that, I know she'll only assume she upset me and nothing more.
New to threads, Wondering how others deal with lack of motivation?
Depression Support / by thoughtfulCake6126
Last post
 February 17th, 2017
...See more Starting to get pretty frustrated when, for lack of a better term, I feel like a motivationless potato laying in bed. I know there's things to do. I know I want to draw/write. But holding the pencil and getting that fuzz of nothing gets far too frustrating for me, especially when that vague desire is there. I almost always end up doing something else in the end. But I'm wondering if there's a way around it.
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