panickybunny Member Profile

...See more My husband and I have been facing some challenges in our marriage, and I would really appreciate your guidance. I am a very emotional person, with a lot of personal trauma from past relationships and parents, which I am working on. I usually like to talk it out and point out what the real issue is. However, sometimes I feel that I am the only one holding the relationship alone. It makes me very emotional. We married relatively quickly, and he was only 24 at the time. I believe he thought marrying me would help with practical issues like visa concerns. However, I think this has started to outweigh the positive feelings he had when we first got married, and it’s causing him a lot of internal pressure. I know that he loves and cares for me. He’s expressed that many times and shows it in small but meaningful ways. I see his efforts, and we do have wonderful moments together. However, when there’s one negative thing, he tends to retreat and gives up quickly on us, which is painful because I believe this relationship is truly special. I feel that he’s confused and overwhelmed by everything—finances, the future, maybe even the pressure of being in a committed relationship as this is his first serious one. Furthermore, there is a cultural difference that pressures him. I want to support him, but I also feel lost in how to take the pressure off him without pulling away myself. I love him deeply, and I’m willing to do whatever it takes to save our relationship. He has a theta session on Friday, and I’m hoping this will help him get to the root of these feelings. But before we give up, I want to make sure we’ve tried everything. Also few months ago, we went through a challenging moment in our relationship where we were both confused. I tried to talk it out, but during the conversation, he seemed to focus on finding reasons or negative things about our relationship, which made things even harder. One thing he brought up was his girl best friend, someone he only hangs out with maybe twice a year. He mentioned that when they were younger, he had a crush on her, but she rejected him. Even though he held onto hope for a couple of years, she was always in other relationships, and eventually, he moved on and started dating other people. In that moment of confusion, he questioned whether he had fully dealt with those past feelings, even though he assured me that he has no romantic feelings for her now. Honestly, their connection feels distant to me—they don't have much in common, and their "vibe" seems very off. Still, it hurt me when he brought this up, as it made me feel uncertain about where his mind was at. He reassured me afterward that he has no feelings for her and that he was just trying to figure out why he was feeling off. He admitted he had formulated this event in the wrong way, especially since she had just gone through a breakup and had reached out to him. This made me feel uneasy, but my husband handled it in a way that made me feel secure. He openly talked to me about it, reassured me that I am the most important person in his life, and we worked together to figure out how he could still be a good friend to her while being an even better husband to me. I don't know where to go from here. Do you have any suggestions or approaches we could take to help him manage these feelings of pressure and help us reconnect emotionally?

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