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mochiheart23
1,282 M Little Steps 4
PathStep 3 Compassion hearts41 Forum posts50 Forum upvotes64 Current upvotes64 Age GroupAdult Last activeNovember, 2020 Member sinceApril 17, 2019
Bio
Hi all~! ( ´ ∀ `)ノ～ ♡
I am a fellow spiritual being having a human existence (-Pierre Tielhard de Chardine), and I love doves, music, and art. I am also just an INFJ trying my best to improve myself and to spread positivity! Hope you all have a wonderful day or night, because you all deserve it! :)
Recent forum posts
Friend Vent
Relationship Stress / by mochiheart23
Last post
 July 4th, 2020
...See more I've realized recently that I'm quite insecure about myself and worry about what others think of me. I parted ways with a friend many months ago, but I just wanted to vent about it here because it still doesn't feel good to think about it, it hurt a lot more than I've admitted. It feels like it's been an eternity since we parted ways but I still find myself thinking about her. I feel awful because I keep thinking about how bad of a friend I was to her (I think) because that was the main reason why we ended our friendship. I can't help but obsess time to time, how we could've still been friends if I had been better. Could we still become friends now? I don't think that's even a question. I'm afraid she thinks of me as a toxic friend she dropped out of her life and I hate to feel that way and I hate seeing her in the halls during school and feeling all bleh as everything comes back. I know no one can have all golden relationships, but I barely have anyone I'm close to anyways I think, and just seeing how I lost this good friend. I think about it and still feel so awful. I still have so much pictures of us on my phone. She is so beautiful, she was a wonderful person even though we just didn't connect properly? It hurts a lot to see her pictures and I'm still debating on deleting them or not. I should I don't know what's stopping me. Maybe I'm just scared to face her face. I want to move on though, to stop thinking about her and to be so much better so I won't lose a good friend again.
Cut Off by a Friend
Relationship Stress / by mochiheart23
Last post
 August 9th, 2019
...See more I've never had much friends, and I still don't really. But recently i lost a friend due to the fact that she didn't feel appreciated, and she felt i was draining her, and other things that were her fault too. But it was mostly my fault. I feel so many different things, even though it's been over a month. I still replay the scene in my head when she ended our friendship, the things she said, the happy memories we shared. I'm happy to move forward, sad that she's gone, angry at her, relieved to be away from her, respectful of her, motivated to get better, devastated that it ended this way despite everything, accepting of the way things have to be, hurt because of the whole sequence of events, melancholic when things remind me of her, sorry for hurting her, worried about what her friends will think of me, and a lot of other emotions all jumbled together, both good and bad and in between. I'd just like some advice or something.. has anyone here lost a friend by them wanting to cut you out of their lives? I'm grateful that i somewhat got closure in my relationship with this 'ex-friend' , but I'd just like to hear some insight from another perspective. Some advice maybe or hearing your own similar experience maybe, Thank you for reading this, I guess it was also a little bit of a vent!
Just a frustrated vent
Journals & Diaries / by mochiheart23
Last post
 April 5th, 2020
...See more Feeling frustrated today because I want to do something but I feel like I cant. Its a nice 70 day out and Im stuck inside because my mom doesnt want me to go out by myself. And I dont have any friends to hang out with, I cant do anything with my family because theyre busy or dont want to, and I have so much work Im supposed to do but its vacation right now. I feel like Ive wasted my vacation doing nothing and Im just angry because I want to do something, I want to be productive! And I know its better than having too much to do, but I feel like theres theres so much I could be doing but I cant, and Im just frustrated with my circumstances and mostly myself. What doesnt help is hearing my dad coughing every 10 seconds which drives me crazy, (but thats a whole other story) and I just feel so trapped, and Ive felt so trapped for a long time, by my own fears and by my parents. Ahhdhdbdksk.
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