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driftingquestion
2 5,227 M Seeking Light 8
PathStep 10 Compassion hearts67 Forum posts5 Forum upvotes16 Current upvotes16 Age GroupAdult Last activeSeptember, 2024 Member sinceMay 22, 2021
Recent forum posts
When I was young and backpacking there always was an old guy at the hostels
35 & Over Community / by driftingquestion
Last post
 September 11th
...See more Sometimes he'd force his way to join a group puting, pretending he was " one of the guys", with no real clear purpose why he's there or how he has income or time to wander. Props to him for living. But I realized now I'm that guy if I go backpacking again. Unfortunately I dotn have income or money, so it doesn't really work anymore. I don't know when I got old, but hostel life years ago just took a sharp turn for even worse. I already always had social anxiety and depression, but then it just went to total isolation. It just occurred to me I've only ever drank a couple times even with a woman. And even less in a group. My warped views of money and scarcity and stinginess ruined all my travels
Finally hit 35, feel old and not independent
35 & Over Community / by driftingquestion
Last post
 Thursday
...See more In doing meditation and medicine it's bringing out all the past abuse..it's difficult, poor young me just demoralized Into nothing, now turned out as nothing. Completely unstable
In my early 30s now and can't stop regretting missing opportunities in my 20
35 & Over Community / by driftingquestion
Last post
 July 8th, 2021
...See more Every single job or social opportunity I went the path of avoidance. Even while backpacking around the world, I hardly talked to anyone. I still want to backpack more, but I never drank while traveling with others or socialized much, I think it would be so awkward at hostels now. I cant stop regretting everything I missed, all the crappy variety of jobs I could have done, just for experiences, to toughen me up, to gain social skills. I'm about as mentally developed as an early 20 year old, but still mostly directionless in life. I have adhd I believe, along with the ever present anxiety and depression. So Ive never really accomplished much, my ever growing todo list and all the projects I get bored with as I start. I don't even know where to go from here, so restless I can't even settle in an apartment
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