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dreamingworlds
1 9,301 M Pacing Forward 1
PathStep 46 Compassion hearts113 Forum posts40 Forum upvotes82 Current upvotes82 Age GroupAdult Last activeOctober, 2024 Member sinceApril 25, 2014
Recent forum posts
How do the feelings stop?
Relationship Stress / by dreamingworlds
Last post
 September 3rd, 2022
...See more The worst thing is I can't even call it a breakup and yet somehow it is. We never actually called it a relationship. Maybe more a friendship plus thingy but we had something and every moment during the last almost 2 years was good. I cherished this guy so much, literally the kindest soul I know. But also the it's not really something and we're both on the edge of going away anyway hurt. I'm quite sure I'm more hurt and dealing with those feelings since mine were always stronger and knowing that kind of sucks. But also before it even started being something more than a regular friendship I had feelings for him. So how do I get over about 4 years of feeling something for this one guy.. because I've tried. And focusing on other things do help here and there but I've been waking up with his name on my mind every single day and I'm not sure how to stop. Seeing other people just brings me to a point of comparing them - which is not the way to go yeah but I'm not even sure how one person was able to impress me this much. Also since we do work in the same company - though different departments I do see him occasionally. Everything is so weird and I still wonder how I can be so stuck on somebody. I just feel bad over and over again with all those feelings that won't go away
Coping with the chaos
Depression Support / by dreamingworlds
Last post
 December 9th, 2021
...See more Well I've never actually been diagnosed with depression as I've never seen a specialist for it. And well I just feel like writing this. Lately I've been feeling the void a little less, the chaos seems to be less overwhelming and the i just don't feel that weighted down. It's okay. It's kind of funny because this season of grey cold weather usually makes it harder, I'm going through a break up I guess, just finally letting that on and off thing go. And usually I've always focused so intensively on one thing or person to kind of have that in my head instead of all the scary thoughts. But I'm actually able to let go of things which I barely managed before and I feel okay, almost weirdly good. I still think about death there and now but in a very peaceful way. After a long beautiful life. I want that long beautiful life. I'm okay, somewhat at peace. Doing the most ordinary things, getting coffee before work, walking through the city with all the pretty lights, talking to friends again and it's okay. I feel positive about the future and that it will work out with what I want to achieve. But there is still this chaos around me. The thing that just happened over months and years of not being able to get out of bed regularly, not answering messages, not expressing who I really am and can be and I'm not sure how to organize it. That, the chaos of the past feels overwhelming. So I do kind of wonder if it's actually possible to completely move on somehow
Forgetting someone
Relationship Stress / by dreamingworlds
Last post
 October 4th, 2021
...See more There is this one guy I have been having an on and off thing gooing on for a while now. Sometimes more, sometimes less. Both of us are always about to leave - just different places, cities we actually feel at home at. I always kinda knew that if I would go first it wouldn't hurt me as much as when he goes first. Now the situation is he will probably leave first at the end of this year. He's honestly the kindest soul I've ever met. And I'm not sure how to get along with the situation. I've tried to somehwat hate him, focus on the negative things just so it would be easier. But he's on my mind every single minute somehow and I'm not sure how to forget. But I also kind of feel honored somehow and happy I've met such a person. I once said I won't try to put him on some sort of golden throne but honestly I don't think I've ever met a kinder person in my life before and I'm not sure I will. It's so hard for me to fall for someone, and apparently harder to forget someone. I'm having feelings for this one person for probably already 4 years now. How do you deal with losing such a person, how to forget
Haven't changed within a year
Journals & Diaries / by dreamingworlds
Last post
 April 26th, 2021
...See more Those are just thoughts. I know we're still in this pandemic and it's affecting my life quite a lot, everything is still somewhat shut and work is complicated and not really what is used to be. But about a year ago I got the opportunity to work at this island up in the north of my country and it was fun. Same company so nothing too new but still exciting and probably one of the best sunsets I've seen. The light, atmosphere, beaches were amazing. The people were fun, it felt more like vacation than work. Even work was interesting and good. I went there with 3 other people, 2 were friends of mine. Both of them have changed - in a good way, one stayed and is pregnant, the other one is pregnant too - got back with her ex while being on the island. And I'm still here. As the date where we first got the call if we want to go is approaching I feel the burden of the reality that for them, life is so very different but for me it is still the same. I feel like my whole identity is based on going away, moving abroad, right now it's still on ice. I know we're moving forward but still I feel like I haven't changed at all. And I don't even want a family yet or something like that but still it makes me feel like I'm doing something wrong. Also because I'm a year older than them. I already feel too old. I'm turning 24 this summer and it feels like life is already halfway over. People around me are finding happiness- and i'm so incredibly happy for them - but I'm the dark cloud that somehow never changes. I still look the same even. I find it hard to reply to people's messages. So even those friendships are declining, i mean it takes me weeks, maybe a month. But i don't know what to say anymore
Songwriting website ?
Music & Dance / by dreamingworlds
Last post
 October 13th, 2023
...See more Hello, I love songwriting, for me it's a way of letting my thoughts out. It kind of helps me to come clear and to calm down and also it's just fun. I used a website called ratemywords in the past to share my lyrics and communicate with other people that write and it was super nice and I'm kind of missing that. To exchange all that. But that site is down for quite a while now, it's been years.. i've been trying so hard to find another good website like that but so far haven't found it. Does anyone might know a site where you can just upload your words and read others and where others can give their opinions / feedback on your writing and just where it's also about communicating? Thank you in advance
I don't think I'm alright
Depression Support / by dreamingworlds
Last post
 February 19th, 2021
...See more Honestly, I'm not sure if it's depression as I never got diagnosed with anything ever. But I indeed just don't feel okay? I thought things would change, that I would change and yes I've noticed I've had some good moments but I genuinely feel there is something just not alright with me. I feel like I don't change as much as I want to, or basically don't really develop myself in some way. I'm still here and somehow can't break this cycle of bad habits and bad thoughts. I don't know why it's so hard
Feel like running and yet standing still
Anxiety Support / by dreamingworlds
Last post
 February 15th, 2021
...See more I feel like I'm constantly everywhere with my thoughts. Everything is happening at once and yet I wonder what everything even is because as much as I feel so restless and on the go inside, nothing really is going on or changing for myself. A pretty much big deal is that I can't handle changes when they're not happening to me. Maybe that's selfish but I love changes and I long for changes so much that I feel uncomfortable when I see changes around me happening to literally everyone else. I have friends who just got pregant, moved to an Island within our country, one friend will move to India soon. A friend is getting married next year, one knows what to study for her master and is going for it. And here I am, not being able to work in my job as much anymore because of this whole pandemic ( I studied hotel management.) My plans going abroad with this job and working in hotels in other countries outside this continent as well are on ice. I found something I absolutely love doing and yet cannot do it. I know a lot are struggling. I applied to jobs but I just always get replies saying yeah apply again when covid is over/ sorry we're not hiring at the moment because of the pandemic. And yet I know there are jobs in this field and i could maybe easily move within my country or even Europe. A friend is stressing me saying yeah you could go to Switzerland/Austria easily you don't want to go.YES I DON'T WANT TO GO TO THESE COUNRIES BECAUSE I KNOW THEM SO VERY WELL. I want to go further than that for once. SO I am still here. And well yes I'm stressed because the only one not changing at all is me. I'm scared and running wild while not moving at all. I'm the same. the years are just passing and i don't know what to do.
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