Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav
blueBirch6618
541 M Embraced 4
PathStep 20 Compassion hearts68 Forum posts10 Forum upvotes6 Current upvotes6 Age GroupAdult Last activeDecember, 2021 Member sinceNovember 8, 2021
Recent forum posts
I know he’s abusing me but I can’t leave!
Trauma Support / by blueBirch6618
Last post
 November 24th, 2021
...See more TRIGGERS - DV PHYSICAL EMOTIONAL PSYCHOLOGICAL This is a hell of a long story to tell so I’ll keep the first bit brief to get us up to present day we met, he was amazing, he was honest about his past, I thought he was the best thing since sliced bread and fell hesd over heels. typical love bombing phase… he proposed 3 weeks later and moved in with me…. Typical love bomb phase then he turned into a demon…a small list of things he’s done and I will describe each event on its own post took the keys out of the ignition whilst I was driving on an icy road twice bruised me cut me thrown things at me tortured me and gave me ptsd with his porn addiction harassed me bullied me gaslighted me smashed up my house called me every name imaginable just a small list we broke up for 2 months and he started to do better SO I TOOK HIM BACK!!! were 6 months into our second try and he’s gradually slipped back into drinking and smoking constantly and talking to me horrible but there’s a twist in my story he has borderline personality disorder - I didn’t know this until we had been together 6 months and I paid for him to have a private psychiatrist I can’t stop feeling sorry for him I want him to move out but I feel sorry for him I don’t want him to touch me but I feel sorry for him I don’t want to talk to him but I feel sorry for him l feel like being an empath is my curse, iv been prescribed mitazipine for the ptsd and I’m starting to care less and less about him and more about me…. He is treating me terrible… his family don’t help, my family don’t help, everyone just says leave him! That’s what I want to do! Will someone actually help me remove him please! the last 2 times I got him out, he became very violent with an axe and both times got arrested for violence…. 2 exes have him through the courts for DV i refuse to leave my hone, this is my house with my name on it, and everything in it is mine, we have no kids, not married why is this so damn hard! I wish I could be kinder to myself and feel sorry for myself and take action a lot more than I am and in body, he thinks he has manipulated me again, in my mind I’m saying everything I want to say to him in my inner voice, and then feeling guilty for it. I feel like I’m going crazy … he has moved his phone a few times and when questioned he told me I was going crazy Recently … yesterday he slept through his alarm and got up half hour late and spent the whole morning screaming how it was my fault because I should have woken up on time and got him up…. It’s 24 hours later and he’s not apologised and he’s made it very clear he doesn’t think he’s wrong… I have given up trying to talk… Iv lost hope of any changes so the love bombing doesn’t work anymore… I hate being in his presence…. Emotionally I am starting to check out… I wish he would just leave… he knows what he does to me… he knows he’s killing me…. He knows he’s given me ptsd… he has admitted to all that! but he won’t go… he’s sucking the life out of me and I don’t recognise myself anymore.. I don’t like the person I am when I’m with him
Search more from @blueBirch6618
Considering Therapy?
Talk to an expert therapist
Badges & Awards
11 total badges
Hand Shake First Post Reaching out Helping out First Compassion Helpful heart Bundled Group Chimer Teammate Group Friend Forum Friend
Report an issue