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ThorsMjolnir996
698 M Little Steps
PathStep 9 Compassion hearts43 Forum posts10 Forum upvotes11 Current upvotes11 Age GroupAdult Last activeAugust, 2024 Member sinceJuly 11, 2023
Bio

My name is Thor, I am a 31 year old male from Pennsylvania. I am a professional musician, sound engineer, producer, stage tech, sous chef, and loving father. I have been through a lot in my life, but I’m not going to try to let that define who I am in my future. That is why I am here. I want to better myself with my anxiety, depression, PTSD, and anger. I wanna let go of the past and move on with my future because my past is holding me back.

Recent forum posts
Feeling fine for now, but for how long?
Depression Support / by ThorsMjolnir996
Last post
 July 26th, 2023
...See more One thing I hate is when I’m out enjoying my day with friends or family, and something, even minuscule will trigger me and completely ruin either my whole day, or even just part of it. When I go manic, it’s hard to reassemble and compose myself usually afterwards. I feel, once that damage has started, I mine as well keep the damage going. I have a fight response, but sometimes I battle with the past or even myself over things I have zero control over, or can change.
Therapy is (not) an option
Anxiety Support / by ThorsMjolnir996
Last post
 July 13th, 2023
...See more For my generation, being 31 years of age, I was still part of the generation where “men don’t talk about their feelings” and all those other false stigmas. Therapy was seen as a “weaker” option that men couldn’t see themselves in. They joke about it still in movies and television programs. They want to keep you unhealthy it seems, and that’s not far from the truth. Pharmaceutical companies want you to remain reliant on their medicines to “fix” your issues, and while some people need medication, not all do, this is just a quick fix they use to numb out the issues and line their pockets with money. Half of the insurance companies don’t cover mental health care either, and paying out of pocket can become stressful to your situation causing you more mental anguish. I dabbled in a few therapy sessions, but paying $180.00 a session got old, and it didn’t seem to help anyway because those therapists seemed to only care about the financials at the end of the session. Then I found 7 cups. A service offering base services by way of volunteers, and professionals for free. I’ve been exploring the app for months now, this is my second account, and I have to say that 7 cups is a pioneer all on its own. From the help I received so far, to some of the people I have met, it’s been a really enjoyable experience. I was still nervous about coming onto the platform because of all the false stigmas that surround self help especially for men in my age range, but I’m finally ready to break out of that stigma and work on becoming the best me, I know I can be. I have way too much discomfort and pain from my past to deal with on my own. I suffer from abuse in the past, ptsd, anxiety, depression, sleep disorder, and anger, some of these symptoms become manic as well. I don’t like that, I don’t like losing control of my emotions. I’m not wanting to be that volcano waiting to erupt. I want the calm views from atop the hill I have to climb without worrying about eruption from myself leading me to the base again. It’s going to take hard work on my end, this I know, but now I hope to find the support to help guide me down a healthy mental health journey and get me to where I wish to be mentally. One day at a time, one step at a time. I’m glad to have met miles, my new listener friends I met through this app, sorry for unloading everything I could on you last night, but you read what I posted, and consoled me and my needs regardless. I truly needed that. To anyone who knows someone else struggling, refer them to this app, that is all I have to say.
Trouble letting go of the past
Anxiety Support / by ThorsMjolnir996
Last post
 July 11th, 2023
...See more I’ve had a very Trumatic childhood. My so-called father, if you will was not the nicest man from trying to kill my mother, and I on numerous occasions, using weapons, such as his fists inanimate objects around him, as well as even rifles. Somehow he always got away with his crimes, he faced minimum sentences when he is a three time felon with the same charges, he’s even had a two hour standoff with the police and swat team, where he is discharged his weapon in front of them. Somehow he always gets away with it and it haunts me every single day. He’s out of jail as of June 1 of this year after serving only seven years of a 60 year sentence with 30 years add it on to that as a continuance sentence. Seven years is what he got sentenced and I got to live the rest of my life with being so anxiety riddled that sometimes it’s almost impossible to go out in public to do the simplest tasks. I’m a musician, so it kills me not to wanna be up on that stage anymore but my anxiety has gotten so bad from repressed memories that are Haunting me to this day. I wake up every day, and I tell myself that I’m not him, but there are moments that my anger from remembering the hurt of the past takes control and I become somebody that I don’t like and it reminds me of how he used to treat my mother and I. It reminds me of all those painful memories because I don’t wanna become that man. I’ve never hurt anybody physically but I have hurt people, emotionally. I was even put in jail because my anger took the best of me and I trashed the place. And I know that it sounds like I’m trying to blame this on my father and I’m not. I know I have issues and I want to work on my issues. He never did that for himself. I want to turn my damaged goods in the some light for the world like a dented can of food going to a food shelter. I want to become that can of food that makes everybody around me happy. I don’t want to cause pain I don’t want to say things I regret I don’t want to live with the haunting memories of my past. I need to find a way to move past this in a positive way, but it’s so hard when my mind gets clouded by the memories And I feel like I don’t have anybody to talk to you because everybody has always abandoned me throughout my life from friends to family members. I always get left alone somehow or someway I want people to forget who I was in the past with my anger and say wow, he really improved himself and I can really see a positive difference , because I also feed off of what other people think of me so I need to change that image by changing the actions that they have seen in the past. I’m not sure how this app works but if this is a true therapy app, that can help me grow where I can get all of this stuff off of my chest that I have never talked about before in a safe space then I’m willing to give it a try.
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