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ExpressoDepressoBookHorse
217 M Embraced 2
PathStep 20 Compassion hearts12 Forum posts8 Forum upvotes13 Current upvotes13 Age GroupAdult Last activeApril, 2021 Member sinceOctober 24, 2017
Bio
I like to read books, Draw, Paint, photograph, write, take care of animals. I also listen to K-pop, watch a lot of anime, and I rarely like to leave my house. I have Anxiety issues, Bipolar disorder and some personality issues. I have Avoidant personality disorder as well and I'm a bit dyslexic as well, I think that's it.
Recent forum posts
Live From Lunch: An Unpleasant Future Crsis
Depression Support / by ExpressoDepressoBookHorse
Last post
 March 16th, 2019
...See more So like, you all ever just think a lot about your future and then start pointing out all the things you could have done better for one reason or another and made your life better? I was supposed to graduate this year actually, but when we moved I got moved back because "ThinGS ARe DiFFeReNT heRE". They also made me sign up to ttake the SAT soon, and I'm a terrible test taker so that'll be fun. My parents are also super un-supportive of me moving out and going to college. I want to go for Photography, but my mom says that I need something better than that. However the problem is, I don't WANT to go for anything else. I want to be a Photographer, and that's that. She also thinks I should do online school at the house instead, however, when I was being homeschooled online, those were some of the most stresfull years of my life for a lot of reasons, I can't clean the house and do all these random chores while doing college level work. Besides, it's photography, and we don't live near any studios that I could use for lighting, so it would never work. It makes me kinda upset that they haven't even tried to put any money up for me either when I know they had funds to. Idk I guess I'm just worried and scared I'll never amount to anything.
Mental Breakdowns are Fun right
Bipolar, Schizophrenia & Psychosis Support / by ExpressoDepressoBookHorse
Last post
 March 1st, 2019
...See more Okay so, basically, I used to be really really unconcerned with school and classes therein, and I got my transcript today. I moved to another state and they have way different requirements than my old homeschool program did, like I was supposed to graduate this year, but instead here I'm a junior. Again. But back to the topic My transcript reads: GPA: 1.4042 Class rank: 233 of 233 233. out. of. 2 3 3. I recently decided I wanted to go to college, I was already in a bad mood earlier from some Family Fightng that went on last night and now I'm sitting in english clas trying not to start bawling and crying.I'm so afraid I'm going to end up useless just like my POS step father I loathe with all my heart. I'm probably gonna end up skipping lunch to go just, sob in the bathroom. I was almost back to normal earlier too, until that stupid peice of paper ruined my day. Why couldn't I just have sucked it up and studied in eighth grade? I'm so mad with myself I could scream at a mirror. I just, I Don't know.
Avoidant Personality Disorder and school life
Personality Disorders Support / by ExpressoDepressoBookHorse
Last post
 February 19th, 2019
...See more So basically, Avoidant personality disorder is F u n. Especially with the fact that my mom thinks I may have a learning disability, and if I turn out TO have one my teachers will have to be informed. Whcih means I'll wanna die even more than I already do. Not to mention I don't really have anyone I talk to anymore. I was homeschooled for a few years, and I loved every second of such, I used to order all my clothes online, I never shopped in public, and when I did it was very brief and with my parents, But now that I'm back in public school everything, the fear of being judged,the always wearing long sleves no matter how hot it gets because I'm afraid someone might stare at my skin a little too long, everything's coming back and I hate it so much I'd sooner climb one of the mountains we now live next to to get better wifi than come to school. Sorry this is a mess, Like writing like Author I suppose.
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