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Echo87
112 M Embraced 1
PathStep 2 Compassion hearts8 Forum posts4 Forum upvotes1 Current upvotes1 Age GroupAdult Last activeSeptember, 2018 Member sinceAugust 28, 2018
Recent forum posts
Afraid of people
Anxiety Support / by Echo87
Last post
 September 2nd, 2018
...See more This is a long story and the number count is to small so I will try my best.. For years I have struggled with people making me feel less good. it starts out with transferring to KSU. Here I experienced teaches pulling my boyfriend aside just to tell him to dump me. This has happened on many cases with different people all of who didnt know me. I am quite and to myself but never have been rude or disrespectful to any of them. I have also had teaches tell me I was just making up excuses when I told them that I was struggling with my mental health even though I had done assignments multiple times and reached out for help such as counseling and getting help from other teachers. I put a lot of effort into school and my relationship to the point that I was working so hard to please everyone else that I forgot who I am. My boyfriend (who is now my ex) would would be emotionally abusive. When I would point it out he would flip it so I was the bad person. We loved exploring but if it wasnt his choice he would make sure no one would have fun. I asked him to go on a trail with me and one we got there he just stomped off and left me crying amongst a bunch of people. One of the worst days of my life. I would go out of my way for him and he would do nothing but play victim. He would ditch me at events for his friends. Just a bunch of stuff. Soon after I got out of that relationship I went to work at a place called Britts farm. They were terrible people. I worked full time for $9 an hour just to be treated like crap and to take care of their their 7 ignorant children. My job was really to run the store and help costumers but I spent more time picking up all of the familys trash and rotten fast food all over the store. My boss was also terrible at communication. She would never tell me new prices or that an order needs to be made. But if I didnt read her mind she would passive aggressively punish me. If I made a single mistake they would leave the 12 yr old to babysit me and run the registrar. Or they would tell costumers that my meds were fucking with me and that they were sorry they had to deal with me. Like wtf! On my last day of work there one of my coworkers tried to take my clothes off. This is an 80 year old man who was sort of like a grandpa to me. I now have so much anxiety when it comes to finding a job because I dont even know if I am skilled enough and Im afraid of being treated badly again. I literally have no self esteem left. People destroyed the happy free spirited person I use to be. But I still have to make a living. Im just afraid it will mean destroying what is left of me.
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