My manager is very impatient and often criticises me. I cant take criticism well and have a low threshold of stress. What can I do to get stronger (to cope) on my own and without changing her at all?

The first thing I believe that could help you is to analyse what makes her impatient and criticise you. After that you might try to take precautions in avoiding recreating situations where she can get impatient.

Ask your manager if you can set aside some time to have a meeting. Let the manager know your feelings and ask if there is an alternative approach so you can both be better productively. Often times when managers are confronted in a generous and professional manner, they will admit they might have been too harsh. See if you can develop a plan to be more proactive with your people skills so you can avoid some of the pitfalls with micromanagement. Remember being criticized gives you an opportunity to improve, but if it is too much and too often you may need to have a direct one-on-one.

Remind myself regularly that I do my work the best I can. Do not let stress get the best of me : take short pauses between tasks, use humor, connect with my colleagues regularly. Thank or otherwise reinforce my boss whenever he is supportive and positive. Assert the right to be treated fairly and respectfully while trying to reinforce the positive relationship with my boss. Reinforce my own resources outside of the workplace: exercise regularly at least 2-3 hours a week, eat lots of fruits/vegetables, take magnesium or vitamins from time to time, make quality sleep a priority, make sure to have a life outside work (leisure time, hobbies, friends). Reach out to a friend for compassionate listening from time to time.

Well, I have had similar experiences on my job and I got to the point where it was just wearing me out until I went to my doctor, to get something to help me to relax and to focus better on my job. It might just be time for you to visit your doctor and tell him or her what is going on with you and that you need something to help you to deal with the stress that your job is causing you. Just be honest and tell your doctor all about what is going on with you and I'm sure that your doctor will be more than happy to give you something to help you to relax and to be more productive on your job. I wish you nothing but the best as you move forward with your progress and getting your stress level under control.

The first thing to realize is that you can only control yourself. You can't control the way other people act and you certainly can't control the way that people treat you. It sounds like you're well on your way to making that realization, so congratulations to you! It's difficult to feel like we're being micromanaged or picked at, especially in the workplace where so many of us take pride in what we're doing and want to be successful. I encourage you to take a look at the work stress self-help guide: https://www.7cups.com/work-related-stress/ There are many steps there that will help you come to terms with your work stress and make some difficult decisions about how to move forward.

Sorry you have a difficult manager right now. I definitely understand your pain. Sometimes changing jobs isn't a viable option. And learning to cope with critical people can be a helpful life skill. As you say, you can't change your supervisor (or anyone), so you are left with learning to cope with her. My recommendation is to practice being assertive of your own opinions, judgments, and observations about yourself. This is the best way to overcome the cruel little voices that arise in our minds that sound like our critical bosses and parents. Unfortunately we can't really turn those voices off, but we can pay attention to them and respond with logic and facts. So practice internally questioning the things your boss says to you. Form your own internal opinions on questions like: am I being treated unfairly? am I doing as much work as most others? did i follow policy here? is there even a policy on this issue? Basically we want to criticize your boss' criticism. Overwrite your boss' opinions with your own. If your boss is way out of line then you may want to say something or write an email to your boss' supervisor.

I struggled with that in the past. My office manager would tell me to use my brain. I was the new girl and she felt so full of herself for being the manager. I started therapy shortly after and learned that I am not defined by the flaws of others. It's your Manager's job to train you properly not to degrade you. You have self worth, you bring value to your company, and it's up to you to define your boundaries. Is the criticism constructive? Will it make you a better employee? Or is it personal? If it's too personal then I would have a chat with the manager about them going too far. I ended up quitting after four months but your situation might be resolved with a chat to establish those boundaries. That was not an option for me.

It is good to get used to these steps, to cope in time with criticism. When facing it: 0. take a deep breath, avoid jumping with an answer. Let the stress go down a bit (the pause will bring you also bit of attention from the other side) 1. say how you felt the criticism. Let's start and example: "I felt disappointed when hearing that about me I am always late to morning meetings" 2. show yourself available for a solution OR mention your strengths in solving similar situations "... I am ready to find a resolution for the situation..." OR "... usually I am an excellent driver and I do the commute in 1 hour sharp and I am on time..." 3. talk about the limitations you and the other side mutually agree to respect OR recognize your fault and fit it "... we all agreed to be reasonable about the morning commute as long there are road blocks on the highway..." OR "... this time I left to late, sorry, and will not happen again..." Try to read now the three parts together, in one sentence. Exercise your own situation, and use your strengths in developing them. Keep some answers on the side for the future meetings with your boss.

Your manager will no doubt have her own pressures and is doing her best with the interpersonal skills she has. Most managers miss that the big part of management is leadership. They often don't understand that things are managed and people are led. It might not feel easy, but try to see her through compassionate eyes, and if possible/appropriate acknowledge the pressure she is experiencing, because that is what she is likely trying to convey to you. Be patient and forgiving with yourself, because being hard on yourself is like trying to dig yourself out of a hole. Lastly, reflect on your time management and planning to consider whether there is some room for doing something differently. Take time to assess what needs to be done and process the thinking around that, then undertake it as best you can, knowing and trusting that you did the best you could at the time.

Having strong boundaries are huge (and knowing you are worthy of having those boundaries). An open and honest conversation about how you want to receive feedback is huge. You have to let your supervisor know what will make you successful and how to best provide feedback. Also having a strong support system at work and home can help as well. In addition working on healthy lifestyle habits (including stress management is huge). Exercising, not consuming caffeine, breathing exercises, even being outside for a time can be a huge help. You are more than the stress and more than the problems. Keep pushing on!