Why do I still want to cut myself when I have help?

One thing to remember is that we can’t control our thoughts, but we can control if we act on them. If you have bad thoughts of hurting yourself, that’s not your fault. A thought is a thought. It’s easier said than done but with practice, you can learn to use coping skills. I am glad to hear you have help in real life. Remember that no matter how bad your thoughts get, you are the one in control. You get to decide whether you act on them or not.