Why do I always feel the need to keep a blade with me even when I don't need to cut?

Keeping it with you is like a safety blanket- you keep it with you like a fall back option, or a plan B if you can't handle the scenario that was put before you because it's natural to you now.

It sounds like your blade makes you feel comfortable and safe in situations that might be causing you anxiety or fear. Replacing the blade with a different talisman or positive coping method might help you leave it at home.

Sometimes you just need that reassurance that you have your way of handling things with you. Perhaps it helps you to calm down a bit and feel secure.

Part of it is the fact that if you have used the blade to cut before, it may become a "comfort" thing. It's a trace of the past, and the past can be hard to release. This is not weird or deranged, it is perfectly normal. As long as you don't use that blade. Also, be careful! Some pockets and bags are very thin. You might cut yourself on accident. Be safe, everyone!

It is a sense of feeling in charge. Almost like a security blanket, only you know about. This way you have your "back up"

It's quite normal for someone to feel the need to keep a blade with them or nearby, even if they don't cut anymore at all. After someone has cut at all, and quite commonly after a while, they mentally think of the blade as a positive thing, something that has helped them in the past.We,as humans, tend to stay around things that have made us happy, forming habits,sometimes these habits are negative, yet we still feel the need to keep something on us or nearby that allows us to perform this habit if we suddenly feel the need to do so.

You probably feel safer knowing you have the blade if need be. You are trying to prepare just in case.

Darling thats because you're afraid you'd relapse again.. Believe yourself, youre so much stronger than you think

it could be a comfort thing - you self harm to feel a kind of comfort, so carrying a blade might go into the same category

Probably just so you can feel safe. So that you know that if you have to cut, there is ablae for you. It might give you hope. Although, cutting is not a solution.