What do I say to people that ask about my scars without making them uncomfortable?
Anonymous
on
Oct 22, 2018
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Tell them honestly why you don't want it to discuss or share. Think about your good first, it would eventually be good for others as well. Those who care would understand and those who don't, you don't need to worry either. Example, usually its because you are not comfortable to discuss about it so tell them truth that you are not comfortable. Truth is truth even if its bitter. Scratching the scars only wound it more. You don't need to show it to every person. The ones who really care and understand would find it without being told and would try to heal it and not scratch it.
SunshineRosa94
on
Oct 27, 2018
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You can tell people, that you have been through some tough times in life and that you have come out stronger on the other side.
Some have a tendency to shy away, when it comes to hearing about other people's hardship, but if you make a point out of telling them that you are better and that you are strong, then people will most likely feel more comfortable about it - I'm not sure this is true for everyone of course, but I've seen good responses to this before. I think it does a big difference to make it short and concise, and not oversharing too much.
HopefulRabbit58
on
Jan 3, 2019
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It really depends on how comfortable you are with the person. I have experience with people asking about self-harm scars. If you feel comfortable, or want to do so, you could tell them the truth. You could also tell them that you "went through a rough time". You are also under NO obligation to answer the person. You don't owe them anything. Scars are none of their business, unless you decide that you want to answer. It can be helpful to think up a few 'excuses' for when strangers or acquaintances ask about scars. This could be saying that your scars are stretch marks, or you have an aggressive pet. You are not obligated to give an excuse. You can stay silent. You can tell the truth every time. If the person asking you is a child, then an excuse may be best, as the truth may scare them, and not answering can just lead them to want an answer more. Whatever you decide, self-harm scars are NEVER something that people should shame you for. Scars show how strong you are, for still being here, and fighting your tough times. If anyone decides to judge you for having self-harm scars, then please don't listen to them. They don't undertstand how beautiful you are, and how courageous you must be for showing your scars, which can be terrifying to do. Stick with people who love you for who you are.
Anonymous
on
Jan 4, 2019
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Well, to begin, they wouldn't be asking you about it if they're uncomfortable. If someone asks you about your scars, tell them the story of how you get them, how you survived, and how your scars are proof that you're a strong person. That those scars mark the lessons you've learned throughout your life. Don't be ashamed of those scars. Be proud that you've overcome the darkest hours of your life and that you're healed. By doing that, you would become an inspiration for them. A living monument of how mankind can conquer the hardest challenges that the world can give him.
ayesha3
on
Jan 19, 2019
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You don't always have to explain to people, Especially fi you think they won't understand. You can simply reply, "I don't want to talk about it". However, someimes this can make people even more curious. You could say, "I was going through a hard time and this was the way I tried to cope with it. I'm doing better now." Or you could take the humorous approach and say, "I was fighting off dragons!" It might give people a hint that you don't feel comfortable talking about it. If you believe the person may understand, you can explain to them why you harmed yourself.
ClosingBridge
on
Jan 20, 2019
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Tell them that it's okay that they asked, and that you've been through a rough patch before. If you're comfortable enough, briefly let them know why (depression, anxiety, OCD, eating disorder) but it's okay if you don't want to share that. It can be uncomfortable to talk about your mental health, and it's just as okay to tell them that it was a long time ago and you don't want to talk about it. If they seem understanding, it can be a good opportunity to ask them if they've ever had mental health issues, and turn it into a discussion rather than a confrontation.
moonlightwaters12
on
Mar 3, 2019
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When people point, stare at or ask about your self harm scars it’s incredibly scary and daunting to have to explain where they came from. The best way to respond is to simply say “I was dealing with a lot of things in the past but I am better nowâ€. This way it prevents the person from feeling uncomfortable as they can simply acknowledge that you are okay at this present time, and it prevents you making other excuses which are clearly not the truth. Despite all of this, it is completely up to you to respond to their questions about your scars - it’s your body and it’s more important for YOU to not be made uncomfortable by their stares or questions. Stay safe :)
Spiritualvegan68
on
Mar 10, 2019
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based on my personal experience I always tell people the truth. I tell them that I have experienced a lot of difficulties in my life and I have found a way to overcome them. I also tell them that I am on the road to self harm recovery and that I am actively seeking better coping strategies to better my life. I tell them that I am not ashamed of my scars or burns. that they are a part of my life journey and prove how strong I am and how much I fight to stay alive. I am a warrior.
TallFiend720
on
Mar 13, 2019
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First I would like to say that having scars doesn’t make you less or more of a person than someone else. It’s easy to overthink it when it’s likely something you see most days. When someone asks about your scars in a serious manner it’s okay to tell them what your comfortable saying. For instance if it’s a friend that knows some background or would like to, you can say that these are from self harm. I had been/am going through a hard time. If it’s someone who isn’t a friend or someone you really don’t want to talk to about these kinds of things, be polite and tell them that. It’s okay to take a stand on either side of the line!
Anonymous
on
Mar 23, 2019
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I have a scar myself, I have had it since I was very young from a surgery that I needed. I was never particularly uncomfortable with it, but sometimes people would stare or talk about it. I found that when I spoke about it and what it came from with them, and they could see that I was not uncomfortable, it made them feel a little more comfortable too. They would ask questions and even share their own scars, some physical, some emotional with me. Sometimes just opening up an honest dialogue can make an uncomfortable situation more comfortable for everyone.
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