I don't really feel bad about self harming. To me it's just something I do to help me cope when all else fails. and i dont really try to hide it because it no one around me feels like it's a big deal?

I am really sorry to hear that you are struggling with self-harm - it cannot be an easy thing to live with. I do not know you personally, and I do not know much about your life situation, however, your comment gave me a few thoughts. First, it seems like you are in a slight state of denial; On one hand, you seem to realize that self harm is not entirely "normal" or a desirable behavior, but on the other - you state that it does not create any negative feelings for you, it is just something you do. It is almost as if your perception of other people not caring about this is something you internalize and take as your own: "If others don't care, why should I?". But the truth is, you do not know (at least not for certain) that people around you do not care, they may just be very bad at showing that they care, or they may feel lost as to how they can help. In addition, even if the others around you do not care (as painful as this would feel), you should care. Yes, you! It is your body, and it is your pain, which you are trying to address. This issue is not marginal, it is as large as they come, and you deserve to receive help, you deserve to struggle and win the fight against this beast of self-harm. It is a tough road - every recovery is - but if you are able to live with such pain inside of you, you will be able to fight this too. I hope this helps, and good luck!