How can we understand whether a person is self harming for attention or if it comes from a feeling of worthlessness?

One way we can see if a person is self harming for attention is the way they deal with having the wounds. Whether they get upset that nobody notices they are harming. How they go about hiding said wounds. Who they tell about it.

It's a good idea to never think self harm is for attention. There are so many different reasons a person hurts themselves, and there isn't an overall "why" that you can apply to every case. The best way to help is to not assume, but to instead reach out to the person with an open mind and compassionate heart, and let them tell you what self harm means to them. That's the best way to understand and to create a plan to move forward.

you cant and thats the problem. and thats why everyone is accused of doing it for attention. its a pain, but its done now, and you cant change what people think of it now.

You can't just tell from looking at a person and you can't be do quick to judge. A person you is harming for attention is still feeling not worth it because they are hurting themselves for other people

Self-harm whatever the cause or reason, is still a serious matter and should be considered as a cry for help. However, I will point out that from what I know, a person that may be self-harming for attention will usually be quite open about it, or perhaps letting others know about it "by accident". Someone who may be self-harming due to genuine feelings of worthlessness, will often go to great lengths just to hide their self-harming behaviours. But please remember that everyone is different and people that do self-harm or have considered the idea, are in need of great support and kindness and do not need judgemental comments or negative confrontations. This will only make matters worse. Nevertheless, please do not be reluctant to help this person, even if you feel like they are using self-harm to attract attention to themselves. Dismissing any kind of self-harm will only exacerbate their need for attention and could potentially lead them to cause more severe harm to themselves.

I’m sure there may be people who possibly do this for attention. But this happened to me and I was terrified and ashamed. My mental state was not good and I was convinced my husband hated me. I barely remember deciding to cut myforearm. Anyways I found such a calm I don’t remember the other cuts.

You can't tell. It's sometimes a combination of both, it's sometimes one or the other. The best way to find out is by asking.

be honest lying just comes back to haunt you. if someone is self harming because they feel worthless talk to them and try to guide them out of self harm and towards something else.

each persons circumstances are different for why they start - yes some do start for attention, but most start to feel something.