Basically I have these voices in my head that say if this happens then self harm. It’s like I’m gambling with my life, I hate it and don’t want my family to worry, any advice?

The best advice I can give in this situation is to contact a medical professional who can assist you properly. It sounds like you are suffering and potentially in danger due to poor mental health. It is very important that you seek help from a trained medical professional. Don't feel ashamed or scared to ask for assistance. We all need help from time to time. You can go to your doctor or even go to a hospital A&E department if you feel you are in immediate danger. Whichever action you decide to take, make sure that you do take action and take the first steps towards stopping these experiences happening.

Seek medical and professional help immediately. It's not safe to have these thoughts and I'm so terribly sorry that you're going through this. I'm sure this can be very scary for you. I don't want you to hurt yourself. My advice would be to distract yourself the second you get these thoughts before you can speak to someone who can further assist you with much broader coping skills than I have. I hope you don't ever hurt yourself, that's not a way to treat your body. And tell yourself that whatever happens in life, you can usually fix it! No need to cause physical harm to yourself. You do NOT deserve that treatment from anyone and you most certainly do NOT deserve that treatment from yourself. I hope you feel good and learn to love yourself. And don't be so hard on yourself...you can make mistakes. You'll be okay.