How should I respond when a friend asks me about another friend's secret?
18 Answers
Moderated by Anna Pavia, psicologa psicoterapeuta psychotherapist psychologist counselor
Updated: May 21, 2023
Anonymous
on
Nov 14, 2017
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The secret was revealed to you in confidence, sharing it with other people means you betrayed that confidence.
icechaitea
on
Feb 5, 2018
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Just say "I can't tell you", or ask the friend whose secret it is what to do, and they will hopefully give you an answer
TheBabyLion
on
Mar 13, 2018
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Choice is completely up to you, I'm afraid. If I were you, I'd consider what kind of psychological weight would you have to carry once you tell this secret of your friend. What I mean is - how would you feel after telling it; and how would you feel if your friend found out that his/her secret has been spoken about. I hope you'll make a choice that brings you most peace and wellbeing in your life :)
Cherm
on
May 12, 2018
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If you friend told you about his/ her secret, it means that he/ she trusts that you will not tell anyone about it. You can refuse telling the secret and tell your friend the reason why so your friend will understand that one's secret is important and cannot be exposed to others unless he/ she is willing to tell.
Anonymous
on
Aug 21, 2018
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You should explain that you will keep this friends secret as you would keep their secret. Show that you are trustworthy! Sometimes, in friendships it seems hard to keep secrets from other close friends, but all this proves is that you can be trusted. Keeping things to yourself when asked is always best. They should be understanding with this because thud most likely want their secret kept as well. As a kind- hearted human being i understand why you’d have this question. Its tough but you should be honest and say that it is not your place and that they’d want theirs kept a secret too.
billysear
on
Feb 4, 2019
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It is important to respect everyone in this situation. First of all, you must keep your friend's secret if you value your friendship with that person especially if it involves potentially damaging details about something. Secondly, you should respect the other person's curiosity about the secret. They aren't a bad person for wanting to be in on the secret, it is human nature. Simply let them know that you wont be sharing a secret - in doing so you are showing them that you are a trust worthy person and you never know, that might make them feel comfortable to share their secrets with you too!
Anonymous
on
Sep 7, 2020
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Well is it private? How would this make the friend feel? Is it your secret to tell? I can't give advice but maybe your friends can tell the secret when she feels comfortable. Can you help the other friend to feel comfortable to ask the secret but not via you. This can put you in an awkward position, how do you feel about this? Can you think about how you would feel if you were in your friend's position and someone else asked you about a secret you weren't comfortable to share and it was embarrassing to them. How would you feel?
Anonymous
on
May 21, 2023
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I would, ask if your friend has the ok, from the friend, who told the secret. If they do not, then maybe tell them, to refrain from telling the secret. See, a secret, is something that is usually kept to oneself. If you, can keep a secret, then it shows your trustworthiness to keep that secret. Then, that person or persons, who told you, a secret, make come back to you, later on to tell you other things, like personal things, that have been going on in their life. Also, sometimes, people who tell secrets, to others, are a way to build a friendship, but not always. Also, some things should not be kept as a secret. I will give some examples, Self-harm, abuse, ect. Those should not be kept as secrets, but they should be reported to someone, you trust, like a trusted adult. I hope this answers, your question.
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