I have had great severe emotional abuse in my past. I sometimes don't know what to do, and it even is very hard to want to keep living. What do I do when all this past stuff is so overwhelming I don't even want to live?

The past can hurt, and emotional abuse is one of the worst things to endure. We should first accept that the past cannot be changed and most importantly does not define us. We can either run from it or learn from it. It is hard to overcome all sorts of trauma, especially emotional ones which have many repercussions on our way of thinking, processing, seeing stuff as well as creating some instability in our relationships. Understandable. But if we start by accepting that this past thing cannot be changed or deleted, and try to focus on what is more important, what we work on becoming, and the efforts to become a better and eventually the best version of ourselves is what actually defines us. Surrounding yourself with good people, building healthy relationships as a 2 ways mutual bond may improve the situation and change the way we perceive things and how we see people. Processing and healing takes time, it hurts indeed, but we should never give up on ourselves. The pain in the change process is the path to healing.