Why do I get more anxious when someone tells me to calm down?

That happens to most people, even to me (unless it's my husband telling me to calm down). It's most likely because you get frustrated, because the people telling you that don't always completely understand. They're telling you to be calm, but it's extremely hard to do so when you're anxious or panicking.

I think it's because it makes you realize that they don't understand you, so it frustrates you even more. It's hard for people to understand anxiety when they haven't experienced it. They think it's the best thing to do to tell you to calm down, but it's not like if you haven't tried that option before. They think it's a rational thing when it is not.

I think it's because maybe it makes you notice you how hard it is for you to calm down? Just remember to breath and don't let the anxiety take over, you're stronger that it!

It's because it usually directs even more attention to your anxiety, which then makes you even more aware and overwhelmed.

Most people don't know how to look or act around people with mental illnesses. People like these think anxiety is just stress and when they tell you to calm down, then they are dismissing what you are feeling like it doesn't matter. It Does Matter! Your feelings are valid.

It can be a mix of things: 1: You feel like they're annoyed by you and you really feel bad about it (something my friend often experiences) 2: You're actually trying to calm down but it isn't working and you're beginning to think there's something wrong with you (that's usually my problem) 3: Telling someone with anxiety to calm down is like telling someone with asthma, having an episode, to just breathe. It isn't that simple