Why do I feel bad when someone does something nice for me, specially if they buy me gifts?

I think it depends really. Do you feel you are not worthy of someone doing something nice for you? That may affect your ability to receive love from others, your thoughts on your own self-worth? Or are you sensing this person is overextending themself to the point of buying your relationship, like people pleasing? A sensing of misappropriated boundaries. Or Would you do the same for someone else? It could be a guilt thing as well that you can’t receive if you wouldn’t do the same. . It really all depends on an individual situation from my experience.

Personally, after a lot of self-reflection, I found in my experience of receiving gifts it made me feel guilty, weak, and dependent on others. My experience with gift receiving goes back to my childhood. My mother used gifts as a form of control and to meet her needs. Gifts were always used to hang over my head when I did not meet my mother's emotional needs. This created a lot of guilt within myself and dependent and weak when excepting something from others. I always felt someone who gave me a gift had an ulterior motive. My perception of gifts were based on the historical relationship with my Mom.

I feel bad when somebody does something nice for me or buys me gifts because I appreciate their thought they’ve had of me and want them to feel equal as I do. It’s not pleasant for one person to be giving for the ones happiness, it must be shared together, with each other. Not alone. For me to be able to express gratitude for something the other person has to feel the same way as me, if they don’t it puts a feeling of guilt inside me. Feeling grateful and happy together is the best way anyone can not feel guilty.

The question isn't really why do you feel bad about people doing something nice for you... It's why do you feel like people shouldn't celebrate you and how they see you. How do you feel about that question instead? A person's value in their own eyes is never the same as through the eyes of another. We are all our own worst critics. If we can take a moment and think about how the person giving us a gift or a compliment feels to have taken such a bold step to break out of their own comfort zone and pick something they think you will like to have or hear, then Thank you really isn't enough sometimes to express the celebration of their own presentation of a gift.

I can relate and often feel the same way. I have found a unique sensitivity which I feel makes me an empathetic person. However, when people do things such as give me gifts I feel guilty. I've dealt with this all my life, and while I love to give gifts and do things for others, I don't particularly like the idea of someone else giving their time towards me. It was almost a matter of not believing I'm worth any time or effort being put towards me. Christmas, holidays, and birthdays can be rough times for people who feel this way. It's not that we're crazy, but while everyone is different we can observe reflection within ourselves to see what we can change, or do better. Much love, joyfulMemories21

I often feel the same way. When someone does something nice for me I feel it is not deserved. I dont want people to celebrate my birthday, and other things like that. The reason for this, as far as my own personal understanding, is two fold. First, I dont always feel I am worthy of this kind of attention. They must think I am better than I actually am. The other reason is that I dont think I can every pay them back for what they are doing. I have trouble making those personal connections, and Im afraid whatever I do to thank them will never be enough. Just my own personal feelings. I hope that helps.

im answering this because i feel the exact same way. although there isnt a specific answer for that, i can mention some things that you might relate to. you feel like youre not worth it, low self esteem can bring us down making us believe we dont deserve good things. you can feel like youre being selfish or it just feels offensive. i know this feeling. but dont let that stop you from letting people be kind with you.

Feeling bad when someone does something nice for you, especially if they buy you gifts, could be due to a variety of reasons. One possible explanation is that you might feel like you don't deserve the kindness or that you haven't done enough to warrant such gestures. This feeling of unworthiness could stem from low self-esteem or a fear of being beholden to others. Another reason could be a sense of guilt or obligation to reciprocate the gesture, which can create anxiety and discomfort. It is essential to explore the root cause of these feelings and work on addressing them to fully appreciate and enjoy the kindness of others.

Perhaps because you feel embarrassed to be worthy of such nice gifts? :) Or that you start questioning whether you should get them a gift as well?

I wonder if there is something here about how you feel about yourself? Could it be that you dont feel like you deserve the gift or act? MAybe discussing this further with a listener would help you uncover further about this?