Why do I feel bad when someone does something nice for me, specially if they buy me gifts?

Some times we feel as if we don't deserve these kind of things in life, it might have been because we aren't really used to it or have be unappreciated before. So by someone buying gifts or doing something nice might come off as forced or unnatural. Sometimes there actually might not be an answer, finding out what makes us feel what and how can be really hard and complicated. For example, there might be some personal relations or history that can complicate feelings when getting a gift. They may feel as if they have done nothing to deserve it or that the giver is doing too much.

I think the answer may depend from person to person, and situation to situation. One reason that I can think of is that our perception of ourselves may not be the same as how others see us. For example, we may think that we are not that great, and in turn, undeserving of kind gestures. Low self-esteem can also make us think of ourselves as burdens, and so when we are on the recieving end of kind gestures, we think that the other persons actions weren't worth their time. Sometimes, kind gestures are simply a "aw, you really didn't have to do that" sort of situation. Perhaps you know the financial dedication it takes to give gifts, and don't think that it's necessary. Whatever the cause may be, these feelings can be hard to battle, but these gestures show that a person really cares. Remind yourself that you are more than worth these gestures. If you feel some kind of debt to them, think of the gestures and an indication of love/support/care/friendship. And remember, they're returnable! Gift giving can be a great way to strengthen some relationships.

I get this same feeling. For me personally, think that is has to do with the feeling of being obligated or indebted to someone, especially if you feel like you can't do the same thing in return for them. I've recieved really nice gifts and it makes me feel bad because I don't have the money to do the same for them. I think it's also a self-worth thing; I don't always feel like I deserve what I am given even though I thoroughly appreciate the gesture and am grateful for the consideration. Hopefully this helped. Take care.

In my experience, I have felt bad because I felt that I should return the favor. When someone gets me gifts, I feel like I should have gotten them something as well and end up feeling guilty. Especially if it is a friend who gave me a gift or a family member. There are also different reasons to feel bad. Maybe if we are not used to people being nice, we might feel bad in the sense that we don't really believe it. Or, it is possible we could get suspicious of the person and wonder why they would do such a nice thing.

I have this same problem. It is due to low self esteem. A lot of people feel they are more givers than receivers. But when it comes to physical signs of affection your subconscious tends to trigger the emotion response that you do not feel worthy or deserving of this gift, or action someone has done for you. This results with the feeling of wanting to cry, hide, or become antisocial/scarce around people. How can you fix this? Therapy can help with deep seeded low self esteem. As well as working on realizing how wonderful you are and teach yourself life is not about who deserves or who does not deserve. It is about just being there for the moment and cherishing every moment of it.

I find it when other people do something nice for me they take their own time and initiative to do that same specific thing and I sometimes feel obligated to sort of return the favour. In those situations I find it easy to simply thank them, try to understand why they did it and do my best to remain thankful and reslectful to them. Whenever I feel like I should do the same for that person, I find am equivalent that I think is fair and I do my fair share of good deeds for that person. After all, we are all human and should help each other.

This is a common feeling, but can be very confusing and even frustrating to experience. I've learned that if we have low self-esteem, for whatever reason that may be, we do not consider ourselves worthy of receiving gestures such as gifts. One thing to remember is that the person doing the nice action or giving you a gift definitely believes you are deserving of it. We're all deserving of nice things! Think of a friend who thinks they don't deserve a gift or even a coffee paid for. What would you tell them to best describe why they deserve something nice?

It can be a sign of deppresion. When you are depressed you feel as if nothing is importnant anymore you just want to get better and thats ok because its not your fault your feeling that way. If you are kind of embbaresd you could say thank you and give them a hug because all you have to do is thank them and they should feel respected. it could also be a sign of grief if you lost somebody you loved you will get gifts from other people and as you get the gift you miss them even more.

Receiving compliments or gifts can be quite uncomfortable, especially if we are not very confident. Feeling deserving of these gestures can be painful if we are used to being unseen or underappreciated. I think it helps trying to remember that by accepting them, we are helping make the other person feel appreciated as well as allowing ourselves to feel seen. The exchange is also an intimate one, especially if the gift was a personal one. This intimacy can be scary for many of us who haven't experienced safe relationships in the past and presume there must be a 'catch'.

Receiving an unexpected gift can cause contradictory reactions. If I am feeling insecure or unworthy, feeling of guilt can arise -- what did I do to deserve this? It can be hard to remind myself of the joy of finding something you think someone else will like, and surprising them with a spontaneous gift. If I enjoy gift giving, other people can too. Learning to accept graciously is hard. Anxiety might also surface -- why is this person giving me this? what do they expect in return? A gift can highlight a perceived imbalance in a relationship -- have I given them as much as they are giving me? Am I a bad person for accepting a gift without having something ready to give back? It's hard to learn that I am deserving of anything that life can give. I would tell a friend "you DO deserve this"; I need to be a better friend to myself.