Why do I feel bad when someone does something nice for me, specially if they buy me gifts?

I feel this way in 3 situations: - I feel as if it's wasted on me/I don't deserve it. - I am burdened by it, I feel like I will have to give back, and I don't know how. - I am simply repulsed by this person. It is important to think about which one it is. If it's the second or third, feel free to decline. You have no need to receive gifts which only cause you burden. If it's the first, then think about why you feel this way. Why do you feel undeserving when the other person obviously feels like you do?

Maybe that's because you feel like you got to buy or does something nice in respond of that and that would put you in pressure or maybe you don't think you're worthy of nice things and being loved and receiving gifts. Another reason could be poor emotional support in childhood or being afraid for asking your needs from parents. or Sometimes people buy an expensive gift not because they love us, maybe they wanna show off their wealth especially in toxic relationships so that might make you silent in front of their toxic behaviors. Or maybe you're afraid this gift or nice action would put people in pressure and that embarrasses you

It all depends on your relationship with you parents/primary care givers. Sometimes we grow up with a family that made it seem like we don't deserve love, or made us feel like we owe them something, or they keep mentioning how much sacrifice they did to bring you up, our sense of self-worth is quite low as an adult. We feel like inside we don't deserve that token of affection or appreciation. It takes a lot of work and training our minds and hearts to learn to receive. It will take time, but you have got to build your self-worth and self esteem and truly believe you deserve appreciation. :). It's hard but not impossible. People grow old never learning. However you are self-aware and you should do just fine!

Perhaps your love language lends itself to understanding love in forms of words of affirmation or quality time, rather than gift-giving. If this is the case it could be helpful to identify your love languages, ask for love and appreciation to be expressed in those ways, and do the same for your friends/partners. It is okay to refuse gifts that you do not want or from people you do not trust. Gifts and good deeds can feel like weapons when they are wielded against you. If some folx feel like the motivation or delivery is less than pure, a gift can feel more like a weight or a debt. If you notice a bad feeling in your gut, your intuition may be guiding you. Lastly, I hope to remind every one that remember that it is okay to feel how we feel and to work through it on our own time. We can't control our feelings, but we can control our actions. Self-compassion is the most powerful tool in the box!

A gift is a sign of appreciation that others have for us. Maybe you`re not emotionally ready to move forward and take the next step into the relationship. You may be scared that simple gests of love may take the relationship into the next level and you`re not prepared for it. You may have your guards up to avoid being hurt Maybe you feel like you didn`t deserve the gift because you never knew that you meant something for the other person. And now you have the moral obligation to do something in return for them but you`re not ready yet.

I think this may be a matter of self-esteem and feeling like you don't deserve to be treated in this way. There is also a reciprocity principle where you feel that you have to return the favour and do something nice for them as well, or buy them a gift too. Another possibility could be that you haven't been treated this way very often before, so it may feel new and foreign to you. This might also make the nice acts and gifts seem like even more of a huge favour and add to your feelings of feeling bad. Do any of these sound like they could apply to your situation? I hope you have a clearer idea of where you're at. :)

I think maybe you grew up being neglected emotionally, so you got used to not doing good things for you. That also may had an impact in your self-esteem. So when someone does something nice to you, give compliments, buy you gifts you feel uncomfortable and you feel unworthy of receiving them. That happens specially regarding receiving gifts because maybe that was one of the things you most lacked when you were an infant. And maybe you also feel the need to reciprocate and don't know how to do it because receiving good actions or gifts was not something regular in your life.

When someone does nice things for you, like buying you a gift, you may feel bad because you don't feel you deserve it, when you totally do! It's normal to feel this way and a good thing to do is realise that you do deserve these things. Maybe try giving back to said person, as a way to make yourself feel better. It's all about learning to love and appreciate yourself just as others do to you and give back to those who you love and appreciate! Giving back is super rewarding and is a good way to make others to make them feel special or appreciated. Your worries are valid!

When you can't appreciate a gift, it's often because you don't think you deserve it or that the other person didn't have to do it. But for many people, a gift also means that they are indebted to the person who gave it, and many people want to avoid that. If you think you don't deserve the gift, it has something to do with your sense of self-worth. Try to realize that gifts are not bad. You should be open with others about your feelings about the gift. Don't just look at the object of the gift, but look for the meaning behind it and then try to understand what exactly is stopping you from appreciating it. Understand your feeling, don't judge them.

Sometimes, I got a mindset that serving other only. In turns, I feel bad when something does something nice for me. Later on, I found that this happened because we are friends (level 5). We are okay to be nice to each other as a friend. It is a great way to aware that it is important to recognize these small acts of kindness for our only wellbeing since you are treated as important in our lives. It also implies that we care about each other. When they are in need, we do not hesitate to provide unconditional support.