Why do I fall apart every time someone criticizes me? I should have more confidence to hear what they are saying, decide if I agree, and if so take the necessary steps to better myself.

It isn't easy to hear negative remarks especially when you have not even thought them yourself but just think if the criticism is actually helping you or if it is not beneficial

First we need to rephrase. I *could* have more confidence to hear what they are saying. Sometimes it's hard to take criticism. It takes practice to removed the automatic self judgments that come up. When you can rephrase thoughts like "I'm so stupid, why wasn't I already doing that?" into "I could have done this, but I didn't. Now I get the opportunity to look at the facts and my resources". It's important to remember that just because we think something that doesn't mean it's a fact. It takes a lot of practice and can start with little things throughout the day.

I agree to a degree. If a person is criticising in an agressive and angry manner then maybe what they are saying is untrue and boiled up by anger. So in that case i dont think its a good idea to take it to heart..However, if its genuine criticizm that maybe a friend or family member is trying to advise you on then i would say yes listen,take it on board and turn it into something you learned. Critizims dont always have to be negative,but how you respond to them makes all the difference.

It is really good that you realized that this should not effect you in anyway. Remember you are in charge of your own happiness as others are for themselves. So its your job to make sure that you take care of your own happiness and not let anyone or thing get in the way.

Sometimes it's not about what is inside us but what is outside us. Is your environment toxic due to lots of negative people around? Have you had a bad childhood? Or have you been in a long term situation where you have been bullied, abused or cornered so that you melt under pressure? Maybe the cause lies not inside but outside you, maybe the people around you are unhealthy. Try testing yourself in a different environment, do you feel the same? Yes, its important to be strong but vulnerability is a beautiful gift. We like to be vulnerable only to people we trust who won't harm or hurt us. For fighting storms , you have to train yourself. It will come with time but be gentle with yourself.