Why do I compare everyone to my bad relationship?
138 Answers
Moderated by Maria Wasielewski, Master of Arts in Counseling and Guidance, University of Arizona
Updated: Jun 2, 2022
JudithAsk9
on
May 2, 2018
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Maybe it could be because you are feeling all of this uncomfortable feelings when you are with your partner when you have disagreements or whatever it is that you are going thru, and it makes you want to do something about it. Maybe you are evaluating other people's relationships so you can figure out a way to change your own relationship
Anonymous
on
May 13, 2018
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Sometimes a bad experience can set the standard for all future relationships because you just can't get out of that cycle. But forgetting that relationship completely and blocking it out is the first step. Focus on the relationship and person you're with at the time, first and foremost.
LilySpring
on
May 27, 2018
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Most people compare new relationship to old relationship because you don't want to be hurt again. If you're falling for this new person. It's as if something switches on your mind to check , double check, and triple check . That this one won't hurt you like the last.
Anonymous
on
Jun 1, 2018
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You are traumatised by your past experience. Whenever you are remotely happy, you compare because you are scared of getting hurt. So,you compare so that In the early stages only,you can terminate and run away.
Livelovedream18
on
Jun 2, 2018
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Relationships can be complicated but something to help that is talking with someone about it or doing something that makes you happy or the thing that helps most is talking it out with your partner.
JuliaK073
on
Jun 24, 2018
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It seems that this past love has put a roadblock in the path of future relationships. In fact, two people coming together creates a new dynamic that has never been seen before, and could never be replicated again.
Anonymous
on
Jun 30, 2018
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you need to figure it out for yourself. If you are really happy in the relationship you are in now.
Anonymous
on
Jul 18, 2018
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Sometimes bad relationships can weigh a person down making them think that there is no hope for happiness. When that happens, they tend to think more about the bad relationship then they do moving on.
hopefulParadise73
on
Aug 3, 2018
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Probably because the relationship you are currently in is not fulfilling.Some of your desires didn't come true
Anonymous
on
Oct 10, 2018
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Comparing is something that happens naturally, because it doesn't require much effort. You know your bad relationship very intimately, so you've got something to go off of. In a business what you're doing would be smart--you would look at past metrics for sales, for instance, and see how new sales relate to those metrics. The past might give you an indication of the future. Of course, it also might not, even in a business. It almost certainly doesn't in relationships, because the human experience and individual humans are so different in so many incomprehensible ways. Even if you see similar patterns, they might be for different reasons, and those different reasons might mean they can be addressed or that their motives are different, which matters. There is a saying that "comparison is the thief of joy," so be careful about what you are comparing. And remember that quite often you are comparing your behind-the-scenes life to everyone else's highlight reel.
Basically, comparing is the easiest way to get a feel for something, but it isn't often the smartest or the fairest.
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